


For the Better Days

by JoyHale



Category: Actor RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Hurt Jared, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Making Up, Omega Jared, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-12-26 01:35:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12048591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHale/pseuds/JoyHale
Summary: Jared presented as an omega four years ago and his family didn't take it well. Omegas are considered as an unworthy people, weak and good just for sex and as a baby factory. When Jared turns eighteen, his parents sell him to a young alpha named Jensen. Jared is terrified because his family told him a lot of not pretty things about alpha/omega relationship. Jensen is going to need to get his trust, but that's harder than he thought.Especially when the ghosts from Jared's past are hunting him, as well as his cruel brother.





	1. About Omegas and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so another J2. Yeah... I was wondering about this for a while and finally wrote it down. I wanted to make it a one shot, but decided to cut it in the middle. The next part should be longer and more... you know... smut-ish stuff :D Feedback is loved!

"Jared, good news!" Jared's father said as he entered his room. Jared froze when he saw him and immediately dropped his eyes to the floor. He couldn't remember the last time his father was in his room, but it must have been when Jared was still the loved youngest son when he wasn't omega yet and didn't know what was coming. 

"What is it, Dad?" asked Jared quietly. His father sounded almost excited, which was something Jared didn't hear in a long time. Gerald's voice was always cold, reserved or angry when he spoke to Jared. This sounded so much like old times that Jared had suddenly urged to cry.

His father frowned when he said 'Dad' but was obviously in so good mood that he didn't comment. "Finally, you'll be able to do something useful for our family," Gerald said with a smile that scared Jared. "We get a call from the Omega Association. One alpha was looking for an omega and you're matching his requirements just perfectly." 

Jared's heart skipped a beat as a realization hit him. Jared looked up at his father and in his eyes was pure fear, but then in no time dropped them again. It was rule number one in their family - don't look anyone in the eye like you're equal with them. Because you're not.

"What? No! You can't sell me to a stranger!" Of course, they could, Jared was their property and they could sell him as easily as a car. 

"Of course we can," his father's tone was back to normal. "You're just a disappointment to our family. We can finally get rid of you and even get more money that we hoped for. The guy promised ridiculously high price, way higher than your selling price. Must be a rich piece of shit," his father laughed as Jared's world was falling apart.

"Wait... You haven't even met him?" Jared asked in a small voice. He was going to be sold as a sex toy for some horny bastard and his parents didn't even see him? "Do you even know his name?"

"Stop talking back to me!" Gerald yelled and grabbed his jaw. "We know everything we need to know, and you shouldn't care. It's not like you would be something more than a whore to him." With these words, his father left and closed the door loudly.

Jared stood there for a few minutes, frozen in place stared at the door. Then he finally slowly sat on the bed and covered his face with his hands. What was he going to do? He knew, of course, that one day, he'll be sold to an alpha, but he didn't expect it this soon. He turned eighteen just a week ago! He has registered in the Omega Association just a week and some douche already bought him. 

From the day he presented as an omega, his family made sure they used every chance to tell Jared how worthless he is, and how pointless his life will be like. How would he be just a wet hole for his alpha, just a baby machine, without love or even kindness, because he was an omega and nobody cares about omegas. That he'd be practically living in a bedroom, not allowed to go anywhere.

Jared felt his eyes going watery, but he didn't mind. He was alone in his room, no one could see him cry. He was all alone. Like always.

 

* * *

 

The next day, a visit from the Omega Association came to check on him and do the paperwork. Jared expected some rude alpha, but instead came a sweet, small beta, who introduced herself as Genevieve.

"As you can see, Jared is in perfect condition," his father said immediately when they sit down. Jared had to be there too because it kinda was about him, but he could tell from the looks his parents were giving him, that they weren't excited about that. "He works out and eats healthy, so there shouldn't be any problem. If Mr. Ackles doesn't like his hair, we'll cut it till tomorrow."

"No, I don't think there is any problem with his hair," Genevieve replied and if Jared wouldn't have his eyes dropped like his parents told him, he'd see the smile Genevieve gave him.

"It's just a formality, Mr. Padalecki. I'll need your signature here and here," she pointed, "like your approval that you're giving up the ownership over your son in favor to Mr. Ackles. If you want to read it..." said Genevieve and handed him a bunch of papers. Gerald grabbed them and started reading, probably wanted to make sure there wasn't any fiddle in the contract, that he'll get all his money.

"Meanwhile, I'd like to talk with Jared about details." Jared barely held a gasp. Did she want to talk with  _him_ in this? But... but he was an omega. No one wanted his opinion. "Is there any room we could talk in privacy?" Genevieve, however, continued, not aware that Jared was practically hiccuping there. 

"You want to talk with Jared?" his mother sounded as surprised as Jared felt. "You don't have to bother, he -"

"Oh, I actually want to bother," Genevieve interrupted her. "So, is there any place we could talk?" 

Sharon exchanged look with her husband, but stood up and walked Jared with Genevieve to the library. "There should be enough privacy," she smirked and left the two of them alone. 

"So, Jared," started Genevieve, "I just want to discuss with you a few details, okay? Nothing to worry about." She paused, then said softly: "Jared, you can look at me." Jared hesitated for a few seconds, then slowly looked up at her. Wow. She was really pretty.

Genevieve smiled at him warmly. "That's better." She looked at her papers. "Okay, so, you'll be picked up with all your things tomorrow sometime around noon. I'll need you to tell me how much stuff you take with you." 

"I... Uh," Jared cleared his throat, "I don't have much stuff. I think that I'll take just a backpack with me." Genevieve looked surprised, but that wasn't Jared's fault that he owned so short list of things. His parents refused to buy him new things, clothes included, so Jared was wearing his cousin old shirts and jeans and had like three books on his shelf. Moreover, he won't need a lot of clothes considering he'll be most of the time naked on all fours.

"Okay then," Genevieve wrote it down, then looked at him. "Whatever you'll need, just tell Mr. Ackles or contact us, we'll get it for you." That surprised Jared but didn't comment it.

"Mr. Ackles is that alpha who bought me?" he asked instead. He knew his father mentioned this name earlier, but he wanted to make sure. Genevieve looked confused.

"Yes, he is. You didn't know that?" she asked, voice a little suspicious.

"No, my parents didn't tell me his name. They thought it wasn't important," Jared blurted out, then immediately shut up and averted his gaze. Shit, he shouldn't be telling this foreign beta about his problems. She certainly didn't care and what more, speaking about his parents like that'll just get min into trouble. He froze when he realized what'd happen if Genevieve told his parents.

"It's okay, Jared. Nothing happened." He saw as Genevieve get up - well, more like her legs - and stood up too. "So, thanks for the talk. Car'll be here at noon," she repeated and then left the library. Jared stood there for a minute, not sure what to do, but then quickly went to his room. He had plenty of things to think about.

 

* * *

 

When Genevieve was on her way home, she pulled out her phone and called Jensen.

"Hey, Gen, what's up?" Jensen asked when he picked up. Did he forget she went to Jared today? "Hi, Jen. So, I visited the Jared kid -"

"And?" Jensen interrupted her impatiently. Genevieve took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way how to tell him.

"The kid is pretty messed up," she said straight-out. "I don't think he is the same guy you remember, Jen. I was there for like twenty minutes and the way his parents treat him..."

"What?" Jensen asked in a small voice.

"I think that it'll be harder than you thought."

 

* * *

 

The following day Jared had packed up already at the six in the morning, 'cause he couldn't sleep. He spent the forenoon staring from the window. He watched as people went to work, ride their children to school... He watched the normal life he'd never have.

A while before noon, his room's door opened - Jared expected his father to tell him it's time, but it was his brother. Oh shit.

"How is our little slut?" Jeff asked in a cheerful tone as he closed the door behind him. Jared dropped his eyes and was glaring a hole in the carpet. Why was Jeff even there? He didn't live in home anymore, he moved out a few years ago.

"Come on, Jared, this is your big day! From now on, your life in the bedroom is starting!" Jeff laughed his own joke; Jared didn't. "How does it feel? To know that you'll never be more than a whore?" Jared heard that kind of stuff a million times, but today it was just too much.

"Please, stop," Jared pleaded his brother quietly. Jeff just laughed and grabbed his jaw. "That's what you'll tell him when he fucks you? Hm, you bitch? Maybe I should try it too, what do you say? Before he takes you?"

Jared's heart filled up with fear. He didn't think, just pushed Jeff away and yelled: "Leave me alone!" But just in his mind, Jared didn't have the courage to do something like that. He just stood there, frozen, and if it wasn't for his father, who opened the door and said the car was there, he didn't know what would happen.

Jared grabbed his backpack and followed his father. Jeff yelled at him: "Enjoy the fucking!" Jared tried to ignore it but still felt the tears in his eyes.

Jared looked around his room, which wasn't his room anymore. There was some his kid's painting, photos with friends and trophies from basketball. He didn't have the heart to throw them away, these were the only pieces of his old life he had. Jared shook his head and followed his father downstairs.

"Jared, remember. Your eyes are on the floor, the only answer is yes. Don't screw this up. He can give you back within a month and we'd lose the money. Do something right at least once in your life," Gerald said instead of goodbye. Jared just nodded. His mother didn't even give him a seconds glance when he came out of the house.

He was glad that he'll be away from his family for good, but considering what was coming, he would like to stay.

Jared somehow hoped that there'll be Genevieve waiting for him in the car, but there was just driver. He greeted him and asked him about his baggage. Jared felt embarrassed when he admitted he had only one backpack. The driver just opened him the door but was silent for the whole ride. Jared wasn't surprised, who would want to chat with an omega? The society found them weak and stupid.

Jared spent the ride trying to calm down and stop thinking about Jeff's hurtful words. He couldn't say it worked, but at least he stopped crying.

They stopped in front of a big, fancy, old looking house. Jared took a few deep breaths, then stepped out of the car. He looked around, nervous. Should he wait here? Or go to the doorway and ring? Shit, why didn't nobody tell him what to do? The driver didn't look like he was going to suggest some option.

Then the doors suddenly open and a young, handsome man practically ran out. When he got closer, Jared saw that he wasn't just handsome, he was stunning; amazingly green eyes, short blonde hair, a figure like from God. Jared mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't think like that about his prisoner. His owner. Then he remembered his father's words and dropped his eyes.

"Jared!" The alpha greeted him, looked like he wanted to pull him into a hug but changed his mind at the last minute. "I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up by myself, but my car broke a week ago." Jared didn't understand why was he telling him this - Jared was glad that he didn't pick him up, he had a while just for himself.

Mr. Ackles was looking at him like he expected Jared to say something, so he stuttered: "N-nice to m-meet you, alpha."

He didn't saw the alpha's face, but he could tell he stopped smiling. "Oh," he said quietly like he realized something. "Jared, it's okay for you to call me Jensen. No need for alpha."

Hm. Jensen. So that was his owner's first name. Jared liked the name, it was extraordinary and unusual. But he found it weird, calling his Alpha his name.

"Okay... J-Jensen." Jared felt himself blush, but he couldn't help it.

"That's way better," Jensen said and Jared could hear a smile in his voice. "Where are your stuff?" he asked.

Jared blushed harder. "That's all my stuff, alpha," Jared blurted out, then quickly corrected himself, "Jensen. I meant Jensen. I'm so sorry, sir." His alpha told him to call him Jensen and he broke it at the first chance. God, he was really useless.

"It's okay, Jared. No big deal. If that's all your stuff, I'll show you the house, what do you say?" Jared nodded, but Jensen continued. "And Jared? You can look me in the eye." Jared hesitantly looked up and... wow. Jensen looked even better now.

Jared followed Jensen in the house. Jensen showed him the living room, kitchen, his office, guest room and bathrooms. Jared was really surprised - he thought Jensen's take him immediately in the bedroom.

"And this is your room," Jensen said as he opened another door on the first floor. In there was a huge bed, table with chair, big wardrobe and bookshelf. "I didn't know what you like, so you can feel free to decorate it in here," Jensen said like it was normal to give an omega a room.

"This is... my room?" Jared asked in disbelief.

Jensen looked surprised. "Yeah, whose would it be?"

"I... I didn't think I'll have my own room," Jared said quietly.

"Why wouldn't you?" asked Jensen, still with a surprise in his voice.

Jared snorted. "Why? Maybe 'cause I'm an omega?"

He blurted it out again, didn't really think to say it until it was out of his mouth. There was something about Jensen - that he absolutely wasn't how he pictured him, that he was the first person in a long time who was nice to him - that made him talking freely. But then he remembered that he was an omega, Jensen was his alpha and what he just said was pretty disrespectful.

"I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean to say that," he said immediately. Now will definitely come some punishment. But Jensen just sighed.

"It's okay, Jared, really. You can speak freely with me." Like he knew what Jared was thinking.

Jensen closed the door and showed him the last room, right across Jared's. "And that's my room," Jensen said pretty unnecessarily. Jensen's room was a little bit bigger than Jared's and there was a definitely bigger mess. The wall across the door was full of photos, probably with Jensen's family and friends.

"So," Jensen said after a while of quiet, "is there something you wanna do? Grab some snack or something to drink? I'm afraid I don't do much groceries, so I probably have only water and wine." Jared realized that Jensen was babbling, which meant he was... nervous? Why would he be nervous? Anyway, it made Jared breath easily.

"If it's okay..." Jared started slowly. Jensen gave him a nod to continue. "Then I'd love to get some sleep."

"Oh." Did Jared just imagined it or was Jensen disappointed? "Yeah, of course."

 

* * *

 

When Jared closed the door behind him, Jensen headed down and sat on the couch. The house was quiet - he was always quiet, but he expected Jared to light it up a little. Instead, Jared looked terrified and like he expected Jensen to hit him. What happened to that kid? And what was he saying about that omega shouldn't have his own room?

Jensen stood up and started walking around. Gen was right. What did Jared's parents do to him? He'd love to see Jared smile. He'll go slowly at him - hell, if Jared wouldn't want him, he wouldn't force him to do anything. He just wanted him to be happy.

He loved him just since high school anyway.

 

* * *

 

When Jared woked up in the morning, he was hungry and thirsty. There was a small bathroom attached to his room, so he peed and drank some water from the water tap. He looked at himself in the mirror - he was unhealthy pale, probably because he didn't get much sleep last week. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked just... pathetic. That was the word. He was pathetic, just like his life.

After a while, he came out from the bathroom and stopped. He was starving, but could he go to the kitchen? He didn't think so. In the home, he was told to stay in his room until he was told otherwise. He was even eating there, so he thought here it'll be the same. Above that, Jared remembered all the times his family told him about living in the bedroom. So Jared just sat on the bed and waited, but Jensen didn't come for him or bring him breakfast.

Jared watched the watch for felt like centuries. He woke up at nine; it was one p.m. now. Jared felt tears in his eyes again. He wiped them away. So what, was Jensen letting him die in his room?

But then Jared realized something - the house was quiet. Too much quiet he guessed. Maybe Jensen left? After another hesitant fifteen minutes, Jared finally decided to go grab some snack - quickly, didn't want to be caught - and then run back to his room again.

"Jared?" he heard suddenly. He was already in the hallway. Was he allowed to come out finally? Or was it some kind of test and Jared failed because he came out? Jared's heart skipped a beat and within a seconds, he was back in his room, leaning against the door, chest lifting and falling.

"Jared, where are you?" asked Jensen again, his voice sounded closer this time. Jared took a few shaky steps away from the doors, as they snapped open. In the doorframe stood Jensen, confusion written all over his face. Jared swallowed hard - he wasn't sure what the hell was happening, but it couldn't be anything good.

"Here you are. You didn't eat?" asked Jensen carefully, seeing how stressed Jared was. "I left you a breakfast downstairs, but you didn't touch it. You woke up just yet?"

Jared blinked and shook his head as no, pretty dumbfounded. Jensen was saying he left him breakfast... so he was allowed to go to the kitchen? Jared was just so fucking confused. Why didn't anybody write some manual? How to be a good whore for your alpha.

"So why...?" Jensen seemed pretty dumbfounded too. "I had an emergency at work, I took a week off, but they needed me really badly, so... I left you a note down, too. I wanted to tell you, but when they call me, you were still sleeping and I didn't want to wake you," Jensen explained. Then looked at Jared with expectations.

"I... I'm sorry," Jared stuttered, it was the first thing that came to his mind. Apologize for his stupidity. "I didn't know if I could leave my room."

"Of course you can, Jared, you can go anywhere in the house or at the garden," said Jensen softly, but Jared saw the question in his eyes.

"I-I couldn't leave my room at home until my parents called me," whispered Jared - didn't really know why was whispering. Like he was telling Jensen a secret.

Jensen suddenly had so many emotions in his eyes - sadness, pity, anger, so much anger - but Jensen blinked a few times and then smiled. "So, let's go downstairs. You must be starving." You have no idea, Jared thought but kept his mouth shut.

After the meal, Jensen navigated Jared to the couch and sit down, so Jared did the same. Jensen took a deep breath, then looked Jared in the eye. Eye contact was uncomfortable for Jared, but he kept it, for his alpha.

"Jared, why do you think you're here?" asked Jensen, which caught Jared completely out off guard.

"What?"

"Why do you think you're here?" repeated Jensen patiently. "What did your parents tell you?"

Jared just stared at Jensen, speechless. Was this some kind of joke? He was there because of fucking. Even considering Jensen seemed kind and nice, this was still the reason why he there. He bought Jared, for the God's sake.

"I'm your omega," said Jared slowly. God, this was so awkward. "I'm here to keep your house clean and..." Jared couldn't force him to say that, "... satisfy you."

Jensen sighed - apparently he got the message. He was quiet for a moment. "Jared, your parents are apparently really old school. I don't know if they allowed you any access to a media, but your idea of an omega died like years ago. There is now a huge movement for the omega rights; they have this For the Better Days Association. I talked with the women who came from the OA, remember her? She told me about how your parents treat you. Must be a bunch of assholes, your family. But now, you're with me, okay? You can go whatever you want in the house, to the garden, or even out. You're free now."

Jared just stared at him. Movement for omega rights? That meant that omegas... could be on their own? Without an alpha? Jared narrowed his eyes a little, but couldn't believe it was some kind of trick. He wanted so bad to believe these words, wanted to believe Jensen, who was so kind to him.

So he believed, even if he could be let down.

 

* * *

 

Jared was in Jensen's house for two weeks now. He still couldn't believe that he didn't end like a slut for Jensen, but Jensen didn't touch Jared in any inappropriate way the last two weeks, so he slowly started to believe that his life will be more than living like a walking sex toy. Also, he started to realize how much was his parents and siblings affecting him.

Jensen was the first week at home, like he said, and spent the time trying to speak Jared up. Jared still had moments when he calls Jensen 'alpha' or dropped his eyes when Jensen came in, but he was working on it. Jensen was asking him millions and millions of questions - what is his favorite color, food, pet, movie, book, TV show, superhero (Superman would kick Batman's ass!) - and didn't stop him when Jared replied to most of it with shrug. He wasn't allowed to watch TV, so he didn't see any movie or serial in four years, he'd ate what they gave him. Once Jared quietly said he likes dogs and they spent hours talking about them.

When Jensen went back to work, their everyday life was a stereotype, but Jared liked that. Jensen went to work early at morning - Jared found out he was a veterinarian, which was awesome - and Jared had the house for himself. He cleaned, of course, still believed that was his job as an omega, but after that, he read and watched TV, which was a whole new world to Jared.

"I can watch TV?" asked Jared when Jensen told him. "Yeah, of course, you can," said Jensen with smile and Jared never had so big urge to hug him.

With TV, he learned a lot of about For the Better Days. He couldn't believe it; omegas going to work, at college... It was incredible.

But now, their routine was broken. Jensen was always home at six o'clock, they eat dinner and watch Dr. House together. (At the start, Jared was sitting in the chair; lately, he spent their evening on the couch beside Jensen, every day sitting a little closer to him.)

But now it was half past seven and Jensen still nowhere.

Jared was walking around the living room, biting his nails, nervous and afraid of what could happen. Jensen didn't call him, text him or leave him a message. Jared started to make the worst scenarios in his head - car accident, kidnappers, maybe a UFO. Jared was just about to call the police at eight but then spotted the calendar at the fridge. There was a red circle around today's date and a note: Chris' birthday party.

Jared sighed as relief filled him. Jensen went to his best friend's party. He even asked Jared to go with him, like a week ago. How could he be so forgetful?

He left the dinner in the fridge and went to sleep. it had no point in waiting for Jensen because he'll return after midnight for sure. Jared finally fell asleep around ten, only to be waked up a few hours ago by a heavy breathing near his ear. Jared's eyes cracked open and in the dark of the room, he could see Jensen' silhouette over him.

"Jensen?" whispered Jared sleepily. "What are you doing?" When Jensen opened his mouth, Jared could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"I missed you," Jensen said. It was obviously hard for him to articulate. "Thought about you all night."

"Um... Thanks. Now, you need to go to bed," Jared said as he tried to set up, but Jensen's weight was doing it impossible. "Uh, you need to shift." But Jensen didn't shift.

Instead, he leaned closer and started to nibble on Jared's earlobe. Jared froze. There was no way he was misinterpreting this. Jared tried to push him away, but Jensen just moved from his ear to his neck.

"Love you," Jensen was whispering. "You're so fuckin' perfect, Jay. So beautiful. So hot." Jensen licked his neck all the way down to his collarbone. "Just so fuckin' hot."

Jared was frozen in place, his heart beating rapidly. Jensen said he wouldn't force him into anything; yet, he was. He couldn't be that wasted so he wouldn't know about his actions, could he? When Jensen' hands slid under his pajama shirt, Jared jerked away, almost screaming: "Let me go!" He was so terrified.

Jensen just leaned forward and kissed him. It was rough and messy and certainly not how Jared pictured his first kiss. When Jensen pulled away, trying to catch his breath, his hand found Jared's nipple and squeezed it. Jared's heart stopped - it's gonna happen, it'gonna happen - he didn't think, just kicked out his leg and kicked Jensen in the balls.

Jensen groaned and rolled off Jared. Jared used his chance and ran from the bed to the bathroom. He shot the doors closed and locked them, before sliding down on the floor. He heard Jensen calling his name, but he couldn't think about anything else just how stupid he was. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Of course, Jensen wasn't the kind man he presented himself as. It was all a trick. 

Jared cried himself to sleep that night.

 


	2. About Fear and Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Thank you so much for kudos and comments! It means a lot to me <3 
> 
> Well, here is another chapter! I planned it to have only 2 chapters, but there will definitely be more than just two :D This one is shorter than the first, I hope it's okay :D Hope you'll like it! Sorry for all potential mistakes. Feedback is loved ;)

When Jensen woke up the next morning, his first thought was  _Where the fuck am I?_  He wasn't in his room, or in Chris's and it didn't look like some crappy motel. It took him a few moments to realize he was in _Jared's_ bedroom. Jensen slowly sat up, alone in the bed and in the room, too. What did the fuck happen?

"Jared?" he called out, voice hoarse. Then he started to slowly remember last night - Chris' party, a lot of alcohol, taking a cab home, not thinking clearly, finding Jared in his bed, licking him, kissing him, saying how he loved him and probably scaring the hell out of him. 

 _Fuck_ , Jensen's thought as he quickly got out of the bed.  _Fuck_ , he thought as he searched for his pants. (Why he didn't have any?)  _Fuck!_ , he thought about what that must do to Jared, who thought he was his sex toy just a week ago.  _FUCK_. He was so screwed. He'll never drink again.

"Jared!" Jensen nearly screamed as horror washed over him. Jared must've been terrified, and worse, betrayed. Jensen was so stupid! He wanted to kick his own ass if that was in human forces. Maybe Jared could kick his ass; maybe it'll help him to feel better. But now, he had to find Jared.

Jensen finally found his pants, put them on and rushed to the door. He hoped Jared didn't leave the house, but he was so clearly scared of the outside world Jensen didn't think so. When he was passing the bathroom's doors, he heard a whimper. Jensen stopped, and leaned closer to the door, practically pressing his ear against them. He heard more whimpering and sobbing.

"You're so stupid," Jared was muttering to himself. "So stupid. It's all your fault. You shouldn't believe him. Stupid useless omega."

It broke Jensen's heart. 

He slightly tried the handle, but the doors were locked. "Jared?" asked Jensen in a soft voice. "Jared, can you let me in?"

Jared immediately stopped talking and sobbing. There was a long moment of silence, then he heard Jared slowly unlocking the doors. Jared opened them, so slowly, and then just stood there with dropped eyes and looked like he had an urge to run away and never stop running.

"Jared," Jensen said softly, reaching out, but let his hand drop when Jared flinched away almost violently. "Jared, I'm so, so sorry. I can explain..."

"It's okay, alpha," said Jared in so hollow voice it scared Jensen. "I'm not in a position to question your actions. A-anything I can do for you, alpha?" Jared asked and it broke Jensen's heart all over again.

"Jared..." said Jensen helplessly. He had no idea how to fix it, how to make things right, how to get Jared's trust back. "You can call me Jensen, y'know," Jensen just said.

The look Jared gave him was devastating. "I... I don't wanna. Alpha."

 

* * *

 

After that, Jared stayed quiet and distant. He was still cleaning and cooking a meal for Jensen, but didn't talk to him, just when his alpha directly addressed him. He didn't know why he was so surprised because he was ready for that to happen when he arrived. Maybe because Jensen was so nice? Or that Jared liked him? Trusted him? Anyway, it didn't matter anymore, even considering Jensen didn't touch him from that night. He tried to apologize and explain so many times, but after a week when Jared didn't respond, he stopped. Jared just wasn't buying him the whole kind thing anymore.

Jared thought about all of that as he took laundry out of the dryer. He folded them carefully, not allowing any wrinkles. Jared closed the dryer, grabbed Jensen's clothes - except for his shirts, of course, he hung them on hangers and will iron them later - and left the laundry. Jared was taught at home how to handle laundry and stuff around it. After all, his destiny was to become a wifey/whore. Two in one, good buy.

Jared headed upstairs to Jensen's room but froze in place when he heard Jensen talking. The doors were slightly opened and Jared, whose curiosity won against his sanity, leaned closer to listen. His heart skipped a beat when he realized Jensen was talking about  _him_.

"I know I fucked it up, okay, Chris? You don't need to tell me every time I call you!" Jensen sounded really upset and maybe a little bit angry. Chris... Jared was 99% sure Jensen was at his party when... that happened.

"I was wasted, okay?! I didn't have a fucking idea what I was doin'. Thanks to you, by the way." There was a moment of silence when the other guy was probably talking. "What? No! Chris, maybe it's not the best idea to buy homemade tequila from a bunch of Mexicans!" Silence again. "I don't give a shit one of them is your cousin, okay? Tell Miguel to eat my ass!"

Then Jensen sighed and Jared could tell he wasn't far from tears. 

"I'm telling ya, I don't know what else to do. I already apologized so many times... I know he has the right to ignore me. But, y'know, it's that he is so... silent. Like broken. I don't want to see him like this, it's like he is... hollow. I don't know what to do." And with that, Jensen sobbed. 

Jared nearly dropped the laundry. His hands were shaking so furiously he had to lay it on the floor. What was he hearing? Something like a flatter of hope burned up in his chest, but Jared refused to let it grow stronger. He couldn't let his hopes up - the last time it almost killed him, but... Maybe Jensen really wasn't an asshole? If he was, why he'd cry his friend on the phone? It seemed like he really, deeply regretted it.

Jensen hanged up and Jared clearly heard the sobs. They were soft, but he still heard them. Something in him shifted, maybe something in his omega nature, but a moment after, he found himself on his feet and slowly opening doors to Jensen's room. He saw Jensen sitting in his chair, turned away from him, a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of him. His shoulders were shaking a little, which made Jared's heart ached.

"Jensen?" asked Jared and Jensen nearly jumped. He quickly wiped his eyes and turned around to face Jared with wide eyes. He didn't call him Jensen in such a long time it surprised both of them. Jared carefully got closer to him; he had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but he knew now Jensen was a good man. He wasn't any rapist and he wanted Jensen to know he knew.

"I..." Jared swallowed. "I wanna call you Jensen. If's that okay?" asked Jared quietly and looked him in the eye.

A smile broke at Jensen's face; small, then bigger. Jared was glad Jensen get the message. "Yeah. I mean, that's definitely okay," Jensen grinned and stood up, looked like he wanted to pull Jared into a hug but then realized what were they going through. Jared made a few small, quick steps, and even he could regret this deeply later, he carefully hugged Jensen. He felt Jensen froze and smiled a little. He felt so safe and comfortable...

And then he realized what was he doing, pulled away, whistled like a girl and ran to his room. He heard Jensen laughing for a long time then. 

It was a nice sound.

 

* * *

 

Jared knew he didn't have many clothes, but he was used to it and pretty much didn't see the point in having billions of clothes. But he was still surprised when Jensen told him they were going shopping.

"What?" asked Jared and looked up from the book he was reading. Another few weeks passed and they were good again. Well, mostly. Jared still had moments when he looked at Jensen and reminded himself what he did, but Jensen was trying to make it up to him in every way possible. Literally. And then there was this weird feeling in Jared's stomach he had whenever he looked at Jensen he couldn't really describe...

"You heard me. You're constantly wearing the same jeans and t-shirt. Can't watch it anymore. Gotta buy you some fancy things, what do you say?" Jensen stood beside the couch Jared was sitting at, with folded arms and grin at his face. 

"You don't have to buy me things," Jared said in response, but it was just half of true. The real deal was, he was so scared of the outside world, of people looking at him and laughing. He didn't want to go shopping; maybe they could order things on the internet? 

"But I want to. C'mon, lift that your lazy ass off the couch." Jared stood up because he was too embarrassed to tell Jensen he was scared of shopping. It couldn't be that bad, now could be? He'll grab the first things he'll see, try them and then they can go home. Home, where it's safe and no one is staring at you like you're a freak. 

Jared took his coat and stared at the front doors like it was some enemy. "So, let's go," said Jensen and held the doors for Jared. "Such a gentleman," smiled Jared and took a deep breath before stepping out of the house. 

The ride was silent. Jared was looking at the world behind the window. The last time Jared was out was the day he presented himself as an omega. His parents took him from school and from then on, he was locked in the house. (Well, yeah, technically he was out when he rode to Jensen, but he was so terrified he wasn't paying attention to anything except for the urge to run, yell or vomit.) Jensen's - now  _their_ \- neighborhood was clean and nice, old fancy houses like Jensen's everywhere. Then he started to recognize the shops and houses around. There he used to buy comics, there crushed ice drinks, in that park, he was skating with his friends and there was the cinema where worked his friend cousin and they had movies for free.

Memories of his old life he lost just because of his nature and his stupid family filled his head and it was hard to ignore them. Especially when Jensen parked the car near his old school. 

"Can't we go somewhere else?" Jared almost whimpered. There was a real possibility of meeting his old classmates - they still were in the school, finishing their senior year. He really didn't want to take all the bullshit they'd say - after all, he was an omega. Useless existence, an easy target. 

"But here is the biggest shopping center in the city. C'mon Jay, it'll be fun." 

Jared stepped out of the car. But just because Jensen called him Jay. 

They spent God knows how many hours going through the shops. After a while when nobody started to point at him and laugh, Jared relaxed and in the end, he enjoyed it. He had plenty of new clothes and a bunch of books. He told Jensen like a billion times he didn't have to buy him all of it, just this will be fine, see, I have more than enough already, but Jensen always just smiled and said:

"Bullshit. This looks amazing on you. Where is the checkout?" 

Jared always beamed when Jensen told him he looks amazing. But it didn't mean anything. It didn't.

"So, wanna eat something?" asked Jensen when they were done. "This shopping could be exhausting." 

"Yeah, sure. But can't we put the bags in the car before? It's heavy," Jared grinned and Jensen laughed. "Sure."

And that was a mistake, Jared realized when he almost bumped into his old classmates on the street. Jared's heart skipped a beat when he recognized Tom and Stephen, two buttheads who was way older than him but still in the same class as Jared because they failed like six times. But the worst thing was, they were friends with Jeff. 

"Heya, Slutty Slut!" greeted him Tom with a nickname they used for Jared. "We heard that some guy bought you. Wow. Must be a great feeling, huh?" mocked Tom, totally ignoring Jensen.

Stephen stepped closer and Jared could smell his stinky breath. "Jeff told us you run away before he could have some fun with you. Such a shame, isn't it? Maybe we could make it up, huh?" 

Jared was frozen in place. This was one of the situations when he probably should do something, like defend himself, push Stephen away, yell at him, run away or kick him in the balls. But Jared just stood there, like always, taking whatever shit they throw at him, like... paralyzed.  _Pathetic_ , his brain quickly suggested.  _The word you're looking for is pathetic._

Then they finally noticed Jensen, who stood behind Jared. He couldn't see him, but heard his fast breath and knew he was pissed. "You must be the one who fucks him!" said Tom loudly. "I gotta tell you, man, you're really lucky. This kid is just a perfect whore." 

"Man, I gotta tell you, if I only have money, I'd buy some slut too-" Stephen was interrupted when Jensen's fist hit his face. Stephen hissed and stepped away, covering his bloody nose. "What the fuck, dude?!" 

"You better keep your mouth shut before I do something worse to you!" Jensen yelled at him. Jared never saw him this furious. "Jared, let's go," he said way more quiet moment after, grabbed Jared's hand and dragged him away. 

Jensen dragged him all the way to his car. Jared's hand and wrist hurt like a bitch - Jensen's grip was way too much strong - but Jared kept silent. When they stopped beside the car, Jensen was still red in the face.

"Jensen?" asked Jared quietly. "You think you can let go of my hand?" 

Jensen looked surprised and looked down at his hand gripping Jared's so furiously it went white. "Jesus, Jared, I'm so sorry," Jensen said and quickly let his hand fall. "It's just..." 

"I know," said Jared and looked him in the eye. Jensen gave him a fake smile and they put the bags in the car. The ride home was silent again, but it wasn't the comfortable silent which was the last ride. It was furious silent, jittery, calm before the storm. Jared could almost feel the tension in the car. Jensen is gonna explode.

When they hit the house, Jared was glad he was back at home. He still thought the outside world was a scary place and with that what happened that day, it was even scarier. 

Jared hung their coats and followed Jensen to the living room. Jensen was silent for a moment, then turned around and punched a wall. Jared almost jumped at that sound, then his eyes widened when he realized what Jensen had done. 

"God, Jensen! You could hurt yourself! C'mere, I'll check it out!" Jared was worried and hurried towards Jensen. 

"It's nothing," mumbled Jensen.

"What?"

"I said it's nothing!" Jensen shouted and Jared took a step back. 

"Okay. I'm sorry," he whispered, his inner omega telling him to drop his eyes to not irritate the alpha anymore. 

Jensen looked at him, helplessly watched as he took another step back. Then he rubbed a hand over his face. "No. Please don't apologize Jared. I'm so sorry. I just... It's just... I can't believe there are really people like that outside. Now I understand what you were talking about. Do you... know them?"

Jared nodded. "They're my brother's friends. They were often in our house, so... Jeff loves every way how to humiliate me."

"Wait a minute." Jensen looked puzzled. "Jeff is your brother?" Jared nodded.

"But... they said that... he..." Jensen finally seemed to understand. He looked like he wanted to punch something again, but then he just spread out his arms. 

"Jared," he just said and Jared hurried towards him and hug him. Maybe he even cried on his shoulder. Maybe, when both of them calmed down, they watched  _Dr. House_ together. Maybe they were sitting on the couch until late at night and Jared was talking - like really talking - about his family. Maybe they slept together in Jensen's bed that night (Just slept, beside each other. What do you think, perverts?). Maybe Jared snuggled to Jensen at sleep. Maybe sleepy Jensen gave Jared kiss on the cheek the next morning. And maybe Jared didn't protest.

But just maybe. Who knows? There were just the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's shorter but important. So, what do you think? 
> 
> Comments are a motivation to write faster ;)


	3. About Scars and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So here is another chapter! Pretty soon, huh? :D Thank you so, so much for comments and kudos! You're making me so happy <3  
> This chapter is longer than the previous, it took a while :D So, I hope you'll excuse some potential mistakes since I'm not a native speaker and I hope you'll like this part! 
> 
> Enjoy it!

"So, who is this?" asked Jared and pointed at the next photo.

They were lying in Jensen's bed. It was a weekend, so Jensen could be home all day. It could be just a normal lazy Sunday morning if they were a normal couple, not alpha with his bought omega. But they could pretend like they could pretend there wasn't a hole in the wall in living room. 

"This is me and Chris at Halloween when we were seven. He was Harry Potter and I was Pikachu," explained Jensen and Jared burst out laughing. 

"You went for... Pikachu at Halloween?" Jared couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just that Jensen actually went for Pikachu; it was that he looked like everything but Pikachu. "Man, if I'd seen you, I wouldn't have a fucking idea who you was. Maybe... lemon?  

"What? Lemon? Excuse me, it's clearly Pikachu!" Jensen frowned. Jared couldn't help but smile. 

"All I can see is plenty of yellow," he teased. Jensen looked at him with pissed expression, so Jared just laughed and pointed at another one. 

"This is me, Chris and Gen graduating," said Jensen, still a little pissed about Pikachu. Jared frowned and take a better look at the photo. "Hey, you went to the same school like me!" 

"I did?" Jensen played dumb. Like he didn't know it. Like he didn't watch the handsome, cute freshman with shaggy hair and dimples from afar for so long before he vanished and nobody ever heard about him. Not until recently, when Gen called him they get a new OA member, some Jared Padalecki...

"Yeah! Man, that's funny. Hey, did you have the age-old bitch at math?" asked Jared. Jensen knew he didn't remember him, he couldn't; they never spoke to each other and besides, Jensen was a senior and Jared was a freshman. 

"And this is our family dinner," he quickly moved to the next picture at the wall. "Mom, Dad, me, my brother Josh, his wife and my little sister, MacKenzie. I think this was dad's birthday..." Jensen immediately shut up when he saw in the corner of his eye Jared's expression. 

"I'm sorry," Jensen said quietly, not sure for what is he apologizing. For Jared's family to be such an assholes? For his ruined childhood? 

"'S okay," Jared muffled and snuggled closer to Jensen. Jensen carefully hugged him around his shoulders and decided that he'll never let these bastards near Jared again.

 

* * *

 

"What is this?" Jensen asked when he stepped into Jared's room, where Jared was just changing. Jared finally felt there enough home to decorate it a little. He had a few photos at the table, a  _Game of Thrones_ poster above his bed - Jared found it like a week ago and was totally crazy about it - which he order on eBay and new books in the bookshelf. But Jensen wasn't asking about any of this; no, he was asking about the scar on Jared's back. Pretty big scar, though.

"What do you mean?" asked Jared. Jensen didn't know if he was playing dumb or didn't realize Jensen was looking at his back.

"The scar on your back. That's what I mean."

Now Jared froze for real. He quickly put a sweater on and slowly turned around to face Jensen. He mumbled something but Jensen didn't understand it. It was clear Jared didn't want to talk about this.

"What?" asked Jensen. Jared just mumbled something again. "Jared, it's okay if you don't wanna talk about it. Totally okay." Okay, maybe Jensen was just a little hurt Jared didn't trust him enough, but considering all that happened, he couldn't blame him. 

"No, I just... that's not it," Jared sighed. "It's ugly."

"What's ugly?" Jensen didn't understand.

Jared looked away; he looked embarrassed. "The scar. It's ugly." 

Jensen stared at him with disbelief. "What're you sayin'?"

Jared shook his head. "It's ugly-" 

Jensen took a step closer and looked Jared firmly in the eye. "Jared, don't say that. Ever. Every scar you've got means you survived something. Means you're brave. And you're brave, Jared." Jared didn't look much convinced.

Jensen rolled his sleeve up and showed Jared the scar on his wrist. "See this? I was playing football. And this?" He showed him the one at his leg - pretty big too. "I fell from a swing. Open fracture. Hurt like a bitch." Jensen rolled his sleeve back down. "You think these are ugly?"

"No!" Jared blurted out immediately. "But-" 

"No but. My scars are the same as yours - hell, the one at my leg is as big as yours. So if mine is not ugly, neither is yours." If Jared was not ready to tell him about his scars, fine. He can wait. 

Jared looked at him and looked like he was gonna protest, but then just smiled a little. Still didn't look like he was convinced, but Jensen'll work on that.

 

* * *

 

That evening they were sitting on the couch.  _Dr. House_ just ended, but neither of them felt ready for bed. They were chatting about random stuff, about animals Jensen had at the clinic previous day, about movies (Jared was catching up with movies again.)... But Jensen was deliberately avoiding the one topic he really wanted to discuss - college. 

He knew how much Jared was scared of the outside world, but Jensen felt bad that Jared was sitting in the house all the day long, alone most of the time. He wanted him to get some friends and he knew how Jared enjoyed school. He wanted him to live the normal life his family stole from him. But they had to do baby steps. 

"Jared, I was thinking... Don't you wanna visit For the Better Days?" 

Jared stopped speaking and just stared at Jensen. "What?"

Jensen suddenly felt nervous. "You know, I was just wondering... That you could learn more about uh, you know, the omega rights and that stuff. I have a friend whose omega is working there, so he could show you around..." Jensen was babbling and he knew it, but he just couldn't help it. "It was just an idea... Forget it."

"No." Jared put a hand on Jensen's knee which sent a shiver down his spine. "I think it's a good idea," smiled Jared. "I thought about it too. I read a lot about it and wanted to know more, but... you know... I guess you figured I don't really like going out." 

"We'll go together," Jensen smiled, glad that Jared agreed with him. He already spoke to Jeffrey who promised Matt'll bring the topic of college when talking with Jared. "In FBD will no one judge you, I promise. And if we'll meet by any chance these two assholes again, I'll break them more than a nose."

Jared grinned wider, his dimples showing and chuckled. He was sitting so close Jensen could almost feel the heat of his body. Jared's hand was still on his knee and Jared had probably no idea what he was doing to Jensen.  _No_ , he reminded himself,  _because he doesn't want you that way. He just wants someone to comfort him, someone to hold on, someone to trust after what his awful family had done to him. Besides, you almost raped him. So stop with these sick thoughts._

"Jensen?" asked Jared and Jensen realized he was lost in thoughts. He also realized that Jared's hand was no longer on his knee. "Sorry. What were you sayin'?"

"It's just I'm running out of suppressants. You think you can grab them in pharmacy or somewhere?" Jared asked.

Jensen frowned. "Suppressants?" Most of the time, Jensen didn't think about Jared as an omega, but as a guy, so he truly didn't even think about Jared's heat. Jared in heat, desperate and begging for - Stop. He needed to stop it, now.

"Wait. Suppressants?" Jensen frowned. Suppressants were banned a couple of years back because they were proved to damage omega's immune system. 

"Yeah, you know, the thing to avoid heat and stuff-"

"You're taking suppressants?" Jensen interrupted Jared. Was Jared totally stupid? He could harm himself a lot!

"Uh, yes. Y'know, heat is nothing pleasant, so..."

"But suppressants are dangerous!" Jensen stared at him in shock. "There is proved they're damaging omega's immune system! You should be using the meds they developed!" Jensen was raising his voice, but not because he was angry, but because he was scared. Jared could really hurt himself! How could he be so careless?

"I'm sorry..." Jared stuttered and cringed a little. It was clear he was afraid of Jensen - well, almost - yelling, or at least it was uncomfortable for him. "I didn't know that... I was using the one thing my father gave me..."

Jensen knew Jared's family was awful, but this was whole new level. "They were giving you suppressants?" he asked in disbelief. "These bastards! Okay Jared, so from now on, no suppressants. Okay? Ever. I'll grab you the meds tomorrow. And you need to see a doctor."

"What?" Jared asked in a tiny voice. "No, I don't think it's necessary..."

"Jared, you've been using this shit for how long four, five years? You definitely need to see a doctor. We need to make sure you don't have some permanent damage, baby." Jensen didn't really want to say 'baby' until it was out of his mouth. He said it almost unawares, it felt so... right to say it. Jensen went pale a little, but Jared seemed to be too much worried about suppressants that he probably missed it. Jensen was glad because he had no idea how would he explain it. And was pretty sure Jared'd freak out.

But now, he needed to do two phone calls. 

 

* * *

 

Jared was sitting in the waiting room, nervous as hell looking at posters about dental hygiene. He didn't really want to learn more about his teeth but he was going to see a doctor and he needed his mind to be busy because it was fucking scaring him. Doctors with their needles and... blood, that wasn't anything for Jared. He was afraid of doctors from a young age and it didn't go away like his parents told him. Plus, every person who passed by, was looking at him like he was a freak. They probably smelled he was an omega and they were laughing at him. Or he at least assumed. 

"Mr. Padalecki?" nurse called and Jared stood up. Jensen stood up too, grinning at him and squeezing his hand.  _It'll be good_ , he was telling him. Jared smiled back a little. Jensen didn't let go of his hand until Jared was in the ordinary. Jared blushed a little when the doctor stood up from his chair and Jensen was still holding his hand, but he was glad. And if Jensen thought that Jared didn't hear him calling him baby yesterday, he was more stupid than he looked. 

"Hi, Jared, I'm doctor Collins." The doctor smiled and shook his hand. 

"Nice to meet you," Jared said shyly and looked at Jensen. He let go of his hand and stepped out of the ordinary. "See you in a bit, Jay. It'll be good," Jensen smiled and was gone. Jared was all alone with this doctor. 

 "So," Dr. Collins smiled. "Where are we gonna start?"

 

* * *

 

"Is there any problem, Mr. Ackles?" asked Gerald Padalecki immediately when Jensen sit down at the chair, without a greeting. They were in a cafe near the clinic Jared was in, Jensen made sure of that. After what he found out yesterday, he couldn't let it go and arranged a meeting with Jared's parents.

"Is Jared acting badly? Is he unrespectful?" continued Gerald before Jensen even had a chance to talk. 

"There were always problems with him," Sharon, Jared's mother, sighed. "You know, he was always the trouble kid."

 _Right_ , Jensen thought. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you, Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki-"

"Yeah, okay, but can we do it fast?" Gerald interrupted him. "Our son Jeff has his business party today."

"I want to talk about your  _other_ son, Jared." Jensen barely held his anger. He didn't know how to start, but he was sure when he would, nothing was gonna stop him.  _You're awful parents? Stay the hell away from Jared? Fuck you, you fuckin' assholes?_

"So he did something wrong," Gerald frowned and rolled his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I was trying to teach him how to behave, but he is just-"

"No," Jensen said in such a cool voice Gerald stopped talking. Both of them were staring at him with surprised expressions.

"I don't know in which century are you living, but omegas aren't someone's property. You can't treat them like they are something less. And you can't especially treat Jared like that. He is smart as hell, funny and loving guy and you totally messed his head up. You ruined his life! What kind of parents are you?! Just because he is an omega doesn't mean he is not your son anymore! Jared maybe didn't know about omega's situation in the world 'cause you held him locked down, but you _know_ about the FBD,  _know_ that omegas are so much more than dolls, but no. You just totally destroyed your son, physically and emotionally!"

Jensen was furious. He probably wasn't that pissed in his life before. But seeing the two people who did these things to Jared... He was almost out of control. Gerald and Sharon just stared at him mutely, wide-eyed. But Jensen wasn't done yet.

"He is your son for God's sake! And you treated him like a shit! Do you even know about the things your beloved Jeff and his idiotic friends did to him? No, of course, you don't. You don't care about him. You just wanted the money his sale could make for you. That's it. You even gave him suppressants! You really didn't care that he could get sick? That he could get some permanent injuries?"

"We..." started Gerald, but Jensen didn't want to hear lame excuses or that Jared really was just a useless omega. They both had shocked expression, Sharon was watching him with maybe watery eyes. But he was sure he just imagined that and even if no, it was too late to feel sorry. 

"Just never contact him or me again. Ever. Are we clear? You stay the hell out of his way that he could have the normal life he deserves. And tell that to Jeff, okay? If I'd see him or his friends again, I don't guarantee I'll be nice."

And with that, Jensen left. 

There was so much anger left in him that he needed to take a little walk. He went to the park across the street and was walking around for like fifteen minutes. All he wanted was to go back to the cafe, found Gerald and punch him. Hard. And then again, and again, until all of his anger would be gone. But he couldn't do that, so he had to make do with yelling at them. 

After he calmed down a little, he went back to the clinic. He found Dr. Collins ordinary and froze when he heard soft sobs from there. For a moment, he panicked that the doctor did something to Jared, but then realized that was really stupid, so he just rushed to the door. He knocked loudly and came in.

Jared was sitting at Dr. Collins's chair, practically twisted in a ball on it. When Jensen came in, he quickly raised his head and looked at him. "J_Jensen?" asked Jared with trembling voice. 

"Jesus, Jared, what happened?" Jensen was worried and hurried towards Jared. He got down on his knees to be at the same level with Jared and hug him. "What's wrong, Jay?" Jensen whispered in Jared's ear, slightly stroking his back. The omega gradually calmed enough to create sentences that made sense. 

"I t-thought you left," Jared was crying on his shoulder. "I thought you h-heard it and left. The doctor c-came for you but you weren't there. I thought you didn't want a u-useless omega like me."

"What are you saying, Jay? You're not useless!" Jensen pulled away a little and looked Jared in the eyes. "You're great. I just went for some fresh air. That's all. I wouldn't leave you."

Jared didn't even try to smile and just hug himself for comfort. "Mr. Ackles?" Jensen heard and turned around to see Dr. Collins leaning against the wall. He didn't notice him at all before. "Maybe we could talk outside? Give Mr. Padalecki some time?" asked Dr. Collins already in the hallway. 

"Yeah, sure," said Jensen and turned back to Jared. "I'll be right back," promised Jensen and kissed Jared on his forehead, then hurried after Dr. Collins.

"So? What is it? Is it bad?" Jensen was so worried about Jared right now. It must be something horrible when Jared was crying. But why did he think he left? He thought Jared knew he could trust him. 

"He is not in life treat if that's what you're asking," answered Dr. Collins. "But the suppressant he was taking did some damage to his immune system and body." He took a deep breath. "There is a high probability Jared won't be able to have kids in the future."

Oh.

_Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Comments are motivation to write faster :D


	4. About Declarations and Breakdowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Finally an update - shorter than the previous one, I hope you don't mind. I'll have a week off now, so I think I'll finally have time to write, write, write :D Thanks so much for kudos and comments! You're making me so happy <3
> 
> Feedback is loved. Enjoy it!

The worst part wasn't when he heard Dr. Collins said he couldn't have children - with high probability. Yeah right. High probability could go fuck herself. No, he was prepared to a life full of breeding babies and gave up his dream about loving family and little baby with his dimples years ago. With Jensen, he started to slowly believe he could have it. But even when wanted the baby now, it wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was when the doctor came back from the waiting room and said it was empty. That nobody was sitting there and waiting for him. No Jensen. 

Jared never felt so alone. So hollow. Nobody wanted him. Not his family, not Jensen. Nobody.

Then Jensen was there, soothing him, comforting him and Jared calmed down, piece by piece, but still had this hollow hole in him, in his heart. 

He couldn't have children. He was the most useless omega in the world. 

He was still half-convinced Jensen was gonna stop in the middle of nowhere and kick him out of the car.  _You're really useless, Jared. I'm not surprised your family sold you,_ Jensen would say in his mind.  _I don't need cripple omega. I'm gonna get someone who'll be able to at least give me kids. I'm sorry for you._ And with that, he would leave him alone. 

But then Jensen stopped in front of his house, opened the car doors for Jared and Jared couldn't believe it, but Jensen didn't seem like he was going to throw him into a canal. Instead, he gave him warm, encouraging smile. 

"So, wanna eat something?" he asked softly, not sure what to do to not upset Jared more. Jared just shook his head. 

"I... I think I'm gonna go to bed," Jared whispered, his voice hoarse from all the crying. Jensen nodded and his hand lurched like he wanted to hug him but didn't do it. Jared passed by him and was already upstairs when he heard Jensen calling, "Do you wanna bring tea?"

"Yeah," Jared called back, but in his mind, he said  _Whatever **.**_ He really didn't care about some tea. Fuck tea! His life was a mess and when he finally started to get better, this has to come. It was so unfair! Why bad things only happened to him? What he did that he deserved this? And Jensen was asking about some fucking tea!

Jared had enough of self-pity. Instead, he suddenly felt his anger rising. It filled the hole in his heart with flames of years of humiliation, abuse, and cold treating. With years of repressed anger, tears and hurt. Jared suddenly saw red, he was so angry at his family, at the world, at the faith. Unfair. It was ridiculously unfair. Why could everyone but him have a normal life?

"Fuck this!" Jared'd screamed and reached for the nearest thing - which was a coffee cup - and threw it against the wall. Jared watched as the shards rained down at the floor, then came closer and accidentally stepped on one. He should felt sharp pain, but he didn't. He looked at his foot, which was bleeding, small red puddle already surrounding his foot. He watched it with interest as he bent down and take another sharp in his hand, squeezing it. Hot blood was soon pouring from his palm, dripping at the floor with disgusting, morbid sound.

"Jared!" Jensen yelled as he entered his room. He ran all the way from the living room, hearing Jared's scream and the sound of a breaking glass. When he saw Jared and the bloody mess around him, his mind was hollow for a sec, the only thing is his mind was  _It wasn't glass, it was a cup._

Then Jensen realized what he was seeing and screamed: "Oh my God!"

Jensen hurried towards Jared, who looked completely lost in his mind like he wasn't even aware that he was bleeding a lot. Jensen felt sick as he looked at the blood on Jared's hand, leg, foot, and pants; as he looked at the blood which was surrounding Jared, as well as bloody shards. 

"Oh my God," Jensen repeated, voice shaking. "Jay, what did you do?" 

Jared looked at him, his eyes so hollow, so lost. He blinked a few times, then his face lit up a little as he recognized Jensen. Then he looked around, at the blood and then looked down at his hand, which was still gripping one shard tightly. When he looked up at Jensen again, there was fear in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Jared whispered, one tear sliding down his cheek. "So sorry."

"It's okay," Jensen said, trying to sound calmly and firmly but knew he didn't. And it definitely wasn't okay. "We'll make it okay."

Jensen slowly touched Jared's hand. It was shaking, but still holding the shard. "How about we start with you stopping gripping the shard so you don't hurt yourself anymore?" 

Jared loosed his grip and the shard fell on the floor, leaving a bloody mark on it. "Good. That's good," Jensen tried to smile. He had to be the calm one, the one who knew what to do. Jared needed him to be. 

"So, now we'll treat the wounds, okay? Then I'll clean it up and we can have some tea and... maybe talk." It wasn't a question. They needed to talk. What just happened scared the living hell out of Jensen.

Jared just nodded, his eyes no longer hollow, but filled with so many raw emotions - like sadness, fear, and guilt - that Jensen almost wished they stayed hollow. Just almost.

Jensen led Jared carefully to his room and sat him on the bed. Then he ran to the bathroom for the first aid box, quickly. He was scared of leaving Jared alone. But he found him exactly where he left him, still sitting at Jensen's bed, staring at the wall. There were some blood drops at his sheets, but that was the last thing he thought of. 

Jensen cleaned Jared's wounds, disinfected it and bandage it. He smiled at Jared again. "Here. Good as new." Jared did something that was probably a try to smile. 

Then heavy silence fell on them. They both knew that they'll need to talk about it, but neither of them wanted to start. Jared just watched his injured foot and avoided Jensen's gaze. After a while, Jensen couldn't stand it anymore.

"Jay," his voice croaked, "Why did you do that?" 

Jared looked ashamed and embarrassed. "I..." Then he took a deep breath. "I was so...  _angry_."

Jensen surely wasn't expecting that. He looked at Jared with a silent question in his eyes. Jared sighed.

"I just..." he started. "I was sad at first. Really sad. You know, a-all I ever wanted was to have a loving family and have children of my own. Then I thought I could never have it, you know... As a slut. But then you came and I... I don't know, I started to believe in it again. A-and now it was taken from me." Jared's voice was weak at first but started getting louder and stronger. "It was taken from me. Like everything."

"Jared..." Jensen's heart broke as he listened to him as he spoke. But Jared wasn't done yet.

"It's just so unfair! I..." Jared seemed like he couldn't even find words to express his feelings. "I was so angry then. I wanted to feel something other than the anger, so... I maybe thought the pain was a way out. I... dunno. I wasn't thinking." Jared stopped just to take another breath. "I lost my life. I lost everything. And now I can't even have a fucking baby!"

Before Jared knew it, Jensen's arms were around him, protecting him from all evil - but the evil already harmed Jared. Jared snuggled closer to him, burying his face in Jensen's chest and started to cry. Jensen was stroking his back and hair, whispering some things Jared didn't understand, but Jensen's tone was calming.

"I just..." Jared cried into his chest. "Why is everything bad happening to me?" 

Jensen's heart ached again. Hearing Jared saying these words was more painful than watching him flinch from him or calling him alpha. But he stayed calm, not only single tear slid down his cheeks. He had to be the rock for Jared. 

"Jared," Jensen started, loud this time. "I can't even explain how sorry I am for everything that happened to you. And I can't undo anything of it. But if I could, I would. Immediately." Jensen didn't really know what he was saying, but he needed to convince Jared he wasn't alone. That he didn't need to hurt himself just to feel something. "I mean, I can't fix your childhood, I can't undo the things your family did to you. But I can promise you that it'll be better now. I won't let anyone hurt you again. You hear me? You're safe, Jared. And I love you even if you really can't have children."

Then Jensen realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hand. But it was too late. It was out. He was sure he screwed it up with Jared for good.

Jared totally froze in his arms. Jensen felt Jared's heart beating rapidly as he asked in a small voice: "What?"

Jensen repressed the urge to answer  _Nothing_. It wasn't _nothing_. He loved Jared for a long time, longer than Jared thought. He watched him from afar at the high school and never even consider that he might have a chance with him. He  _loved_ the kid. He said it and he was not going to take it back.

"I love you, Jay." Okay, this wasn't the firm tone he wanted to use. This one was more like a little girl who just saw a mouse. 

Jared was still pretty much frozen, even stopped sobbing, but didn't pull away, which Jensen took as a good sign. He knew that this wasn't something Jared needed to hear immediately after he break down, but it was spoken and now he could just see how it turns out.

Jared was silent for a long time, then slowly looked up at Jensen.

"My father pushed me from stairs," he said, which completely caught Jensen out off guard. Was that some modern way how to say "I love you too"? 

"What?" Jensen managed to choke out. 

"My... my scar," Jared said almost hesitantly. "My father pushed me from stairs the day I presented as an omega. I don't know if he was just too angry or wanted to kill me," Jared shrugged. Jensen couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I broke my arm and... well, I'm lucky I'm able to walk."

Jensen saw red. How...? Why...? Now he deeply and truly regretted that he didn't beat the living daylights out of Gerald. 

But he felt Jared's eyes on him, so he took a few slow, deep breaths to calm his anger. He knew how hard that must be for Jared, to tell him that. Jensen stroked Jared's hair again and then slightly rubbed his thumb over Jared's cheek. 

"Thank you," Jensen said and he meant it. Jared just smiled.

And leaned for a kiss.

This time it was Jensen who completely froze when Jared's lips met his. It was sweet and innocent and inexperienced. After a few seconds, Jensen kissed Jared back. Their first kiss.  _No_ , he suddenly realized,  _that was when you almost raped him_ _._  So this was their second kiss. Jensen suddenly felt nauseated. 

When they pulled away, it was because the unimportant fact they needed oxygen to breath.

Jensen was staring at Jared wide-eyed, while Jared was avoiding his eyes with a cute blush on his cheeks and his dimples showing in a little smile. They didn't need any words. As Jensen pulled Jared into a tight hug, he tried to forget about the bloody mess that still was in Jared's room. About Jared's injured limbs. And about his awful, awful parents.

It wasn't good. Jared was obviously traumatized. Maybe he even needed a psychologist. 

But they were together, for now, hugging at Jensen's bed and that was all Jensen needed to know for now.

 

* * *

 

"What the fuck he said?!" Jeff yelled in his phone so loudly that his secretary, Mandy, looked at him with a question in her eyes. 

"That we should stay out of his fuckin' way and never contact him again," his father growled. "Can you believe it? What that piece of shit thinks of himself?!"

"Asshole," muttered Jeff. It wasn't like that Jeff wanted contact Jared before. He was actually glad they got rid of him. But when the bastard forbade them to see him? That was a challenge.

Jeff loved challenges.

And loved breaking Jared.

"Hey, dad, I gotta go," said Jeff after a while when Gerald was still bitching. "See you tomorrow." And with that, he hung up. Jeff stared at the phone. He was at a course how to handle his anger - his wife, Danneel, convinced him to go there - but still, he was so fucking  _pissed_. He needed relief. 

Jeff texted Danneel that he is sorry, he had to stay longer in the office again but will be home as soon as possible. Then he turned his phone off and called Mandy in his office. She was there in a sec.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Mandy asked, her long, fake lashes flattering.

"Oh, you know what," Jeff smiled with an animal smile, unzipping his jeans. Mandy smiled and made her way to him, then dropped to her knees in front of his chair. 

He'll handle Jared and that his fucker later. But he already had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think? Isn't it too much angst? However, I really liked writing this :D
> 
> Comments are a motivation to write faster ;)


	5. About Loyalty and Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! As I said, a week off, so... I hope you'll like it! The story took a direction I wasn't really planning, but I like it this way. Let's just see what it'll bring :D Feedback is loved!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter! <3

With Jared's psychical state, Jensen did everything he could to cheer him up. He watched with him GoT marathon. He cooked every one of his favorite meals. He remembered Jared said he liked gardening and bought him a bunch of gardening tools, seeds, and some books about it. He didn't dare to kiss Jared again, thought that if Jared'd want to kiss him, he would do so. But still, some nights Jensen heard Jared crying into his pillow. He heard him whimpering and sobbing and couldn't do anything about it. It was driving him nuts.

That's why Jensen found himself in a small, pretty much loathsome bar downtown. Looking around, Jensen took a deep breath - the place reeked of cigarette smoke, vomit, and urine. Anything pleasant, if you ask him. Just when he spotted large, well-built figure in the far corner of the room, Chris yelled from his spot at him: "Hey, Jensen, my man!" and waved. Jensen rolled his eyes as he started to make his way to him in the crowded place. A few people turned their heads to him when he passed by them, scanning him properly. One girl with pink hair and ring in her nose looked up at him from some guy's lap and slowly licked her lips. Jensen hurried away from her, especially when he saw the guy she was sitting at glaring daggers at him.

"Jen," greeted him Chris when he finally reached him. He was sitting by a small table, two beers in front of him. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," Jensen murmured, sitting at one chair that was still holding together maybe only 'cause some miracle. "What're ya doin' in a shitty place like this?" asked Jensen as he looked around, waving in general direction of the whole bar. 

"Work," Chris simply said. "The drug dealer which case I was doin' the last few weeks? This is his drop-point - well, right there in the nasty alley. I need to have enough proof and then..." Chris smiled mischievously. "We'll put that bastard behind the bars, where he belongs." Chris was an FBI agent - Special Agent Kane to be exact -, at the moment undercover. For now, he was infiltrating the dealer's organization and apparently was doing a great job.

Jensen looked around - it was pretty much pointless considering he didn't know how the dealer looked like. "Welling is not here," Chris said as he knew what Jensen was thinking. So the dealer name was Welling. Why was that familiar to him? "I'm here 'keeping an eye on the place' or some shit," Chris grinned.

Jensen nodded vacantly, still looking around the bar. He had a bad feeling about this place, but he was in a drug dealer's den, so what he could expect?

"So, Chris-" Jensen started, but was interrupted by Chris hard glance.

"No Chris around here, fella. For now, I'm Eddie and you're Welling's customer," Chris said in a low voice, looking suspiciously around before he looked back at Jensen. "So, what can I offer you, honey?" asked Chris way much loudly. Jensen frowned when he heard himself called  _honey_ , but kept his mouth shut to not ruin Chris' game. 

"I was wondering if you could-" Jensen was interrupted again but now by a cute, blond girl - no, woman, when he looked closer - who came with another beer and laid it down in front of Chris.

"Everything alright, Eddie?" she asked in a firm tone, obviously meaning Jensen by 'everything'. She eyed him up and down, hard look in her eyes. 

Chris smiled at her - not with his usual, bride smile, but a way more mischievous and cruel one. "Everything is fine, Alona," he said. "Jensen here and I were just discussing... business," Chris finished with a wink. Alona rolled her eyes, grab the empty beer bottle and was gone. 

Jensen looked at Chris with a raised eyebrow. "Your girlfriend?" he asked in teasing tone. 

"I wish," Chris chuckled. "But no, she is Welling's girlfriend. I don't know what is someone like her doing with a piece of shit like Welling but..." Chris sighed. "You can't command love."

"I don't think it's love what's going on here. It's either blackmailing or blindness," Jensen mumbled and Chris chuckled.

"True," he nodded, but Jensen saw that he really cared for that girl. This wasn't going to end well.

"I was wondering," Jensen started for the third time - hopefully he'll be able to finish the fucking sentence this time - and cleared his throat. "I was wondering if you could, y'know, track somebody." 

"Track somebody?" Chris leaned closer with a concern expression on his face. "Who?" he asked and Jensen was glad he wasn't turned down immediately.

Looking around once again, Jensen took a photo out of his pocket. He was ashamed, but he needed to do more radical steps if he wanted Jared to get better, so... He might steal a photo of him and his friend from his table, but he did it for a good thing.

Chris took the photo and took a better look at it. There was Jared, maybe fourteen-year-old, laughing and he had his arm around the other boy's shoulders. The other boy was a preppy-looking kid and had that glint in his eyes like he was up to something bad. He looked almost mischievous. All Jensen knew about him was that he went to the same school as Jared, and his name was Chad. 

"I know it's an old one, but it's all I have," Jensen said, but Chris looked like he wasn't even listening to him.

"Which one is Jared?" he only asked after a while. 

"What?" Jensen choked out. He was sure he didn't mention Jared was at the photo.

Chris just turned the photo around and showed Jensen the note that was written in the corner:  _Jared and Chad, Jared's fourteen birthday_ _._ Jensen didn't notice it before and suddenly, it was hard to breathe for him. Jared presented himself as an omega just a few days after he turned fourteen. This was maybe his last really happy memory. Jensen had to clench his fists to control his anger once again. 

When he looked up again, Chris was still looking at him, expectantly, and Jensen realized Chris asked him a question.

"The one with dimples," he managed to say, swallowing all his emotions down. Chris looked back down at the photo, scanning Jared properly.

"How is he?" he asked quietly. 

Jensen had told him about Jared's state just some vague things and he wasn't gonna tell him anything now. Chris could be his best friend, but this was only Jared's business and Jensen telling people he went little nuts certainly wouldn't help him. 

"He is pretty... bad," Jensen just said, avoiding Chris's gaze. "So, that's why I want to find his friend. He could help him get better." 

He felt Chris' eyes on him. "Jen..." Chris leaned closer and it was obvious he was eager to know but didn't want to push it. "What happened to him?" he asked slowly.

Jensen felt his anger rising again, like every time he thought about Jared's family. He knew he abandoned them to see Jared again - not that they wanted to anyway - but he wanted to do so much more, make them suffer like Jared did. 

"His family. That's what happened to him," he just retorted and scowled at Chris. 

"All right. Take it easy, man," Chris said and took a sip of his beer. "The photo is pretty old, though... I'll see what I can do." 

Forcing a smile, Jensen ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks. Sorry man, it was a rough week."

"Yeah, I can see that," Chris chuckled, he wasn't for any chick-flick moments. "You know what you need?" Jensen raised an eyebrow at him. "Sleep more than four hours a day. And don't give me that look, you know it's true." Jensen rolled his eyes, but the truth was, that he couldn't sleep since the... accident with Jared. 

Jensen looked at his watch. "I should go, man. Jared is waiting and if I wouldn't show up within an hour, he'd freak out I left him." 

Nodding, Chris stood up and shook Jensen's hand. "It was a pleasure to make business with you, sir," Chris said with a cocky smile, loud again. 

"The pleasure is on my side," Jensen grinned and took his jacket, then turned around and almost bumped into Alona. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" he said quickly as she frowned at him. It was a close one, but she, fortunately, didn't spill any drinks she was carrying. She eyed him from toe to head again, suspiciousness written all over her face. But that's probably something coming in hand with the kind of life she was living.

"Nothing happened," she said finally and left him standing there. 

That girl was a badass.

 

* * *

 

When Jared came back from the garden, he was covered in dirt.

Jared loved gardening - and no, that didn't make him a girl, despite what Jeff'd said - and was so happy to lose himself in the hard work on the garden. It was welcoming these days when he got this dark cloud over his mind, always reminding him what had happened. What he had done. And what he could never have.

Jared shook his head and headed towards the bathroom. He washed his hands; the dirt still stayed under his nails, but he didn't mind. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw someone pale, with dark circles under his eyes, someone who hadn't slept in a few days and had red eyes from crying. Founding out it was him, Jared was terrified. 

Shaking his furiously, he Jared left the bathroom and made his way to the kitchen. While heating up the food, Jared thought about what Jensen could saw in him. He was useless, pity omega and the last few days, he wasn't a really pleasant companion. In Jensen's place, he would kick himself out on the street. It only made sense; however, here he was - in Jensen's kitchen, waiting for him to get home, and starting to feel something that terrified him.

Jared shook his head and refused to think about it, but the memory of their kiss was still sneaking in Jared's mind. The way their lips met, how Jensen took a sharp breath and kissed him back, almost hungrily; how he looked at Jared after... Jared slightly shuddered upon the memory. He never felt anything like this - not he really had a chance to start a romantical relationship. 

Jared didn't know what to do about it. After Jared kissed him that day, Jensen didn't kiss him again or touch him, or anything. He probably didn't find him attractive. 

When the food was done, Jared took the plates and set them on the table. He checked the time; Jensen should be here in any minute. Jared started to nervously play with his hands, wanting to repress the uneasy feeling in his guts. He had it every time Jensen left - the feeling that he would never come back. 

Jared eyed the place once again, but everything was cleaned up and perfect. He knew Jensen didn't want him to tidy the house but Jared liked doing it; it brought him peace as well as gardening. And he wanted to prove to Jensen in every way possible that he could be useful.

Another ten, then fifteen minutes passed and Jared's uneasy feeling grew into something bigger. Fear. He knew he was being childish - it was just a fifteen minutes, Jensen could be stuck in work or traffic jam, but still. Jared was scared.

When Jensen, who really stuck in traffic jam on his way from downtown, came home half an hour later, he found Jared twisted in a ball on the couch, whimpering and shivering all over.

"Oh shit," Jensen cursed under his breath and fell on his knees beside the couch. He slightly stroked Jared's back and hair, while Jared was hugging a pillow tightly. "Jared, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere." 

Jared hiccuped and slowly relaxed upon Jensen shooting him. 

"Not going anywhere.

 

* * *

 

"You won't believe who visited us today," Tom'd purred and Alona leaned closer to the door, in a desire to hear everything. 

After her father passed away last fall, all his debts fell on Alona's shoulders and she really didn't have the half a million the drug lord was wanting from her. So, in attempt to save her life, she suggested working for him to repay the money. Her only luck was that one of the drug lord's friends and companions thought she was pretty. So actually the dick Tom saved her life - but could she call this life? Living with a drug dealer, sleeping with him and making his arm candy... It was more like surviving. If she ever tries to go away, she would get killed. 

"Who?" asked the drug lord himself, Jeff Padalecki. Alona wondered how someone so young could be so powerful, but she could just wonder. She wasn't there for discussing business. She was there for her pretty face.

"Our precious friend, Jensen Ackles," Tom said and Alona could almost hear the evil smile in his voice.

"Oh, really?" Jeff now sounded way more interested. "Is that so?"

"Yes," Tom hurried to say, "Alona saw him and Abel said he did too. He was speaking to the new one, Eddie," Tom continued, obviously satisfied with himself.  

"Maybe lovely Alona could tell us about him?" Jeff asked and Alona had a sudden bad feeling he somehow knew she was listening to them. Alona hurried towards the one chair that was there, sit on it and quickly took out her phone, pretending to play Candy Crush. When Tom came out of the room just a few seconds later, she gave him an annoyed look.

"Are we done here?" she asked, her face just bored. "I'm starving."

"Not yet, sweetheart," Tom came closer and Alona felt nauseated upon hearing the pet name. "Boss wants to speak to you. It'll be quick, I promise. Then we could have some sushi, hmm?" 

"I love sushi," Alona smiled at him, making herself a stupid barbie-doll again, but it was worth it. Nobody was suspecting her for anything. Except for the boss - Alona couldn't trick Jeff. He was too observant and clever.

Tom probably thought she finally started to like him - he wasn't the smartest person in the world - and when he'll trust her enough, she'll kill him in sleep. With no hesitance. She saw him and his group doing so much violence already. And then she'll be free. 

"So, I understand right you saw Jensen Ackles in the bar today?" Jeff asked her when she entered with Tom right behind her. No greeting no formalities; but she was nothing to him, so why greet her? 

 "I saw some guy named Jensen, I don't know if he was Ackles," Alona said and without fear looked at Jeff.

Smirking, Jeff tilted his head. "You're always a lovely companion, Alona," Jeff grinned, but there was no happiness behind that grin.

"The same thing about you," Alona replied firmly. Jeff chuckled and she felt Tom tensing behind her. 

"So, tell me, what was that Jensen guy and Eddie talking about?" asked Jeff and was watching her like a hungry shark. 

But Alona was a shark too. "I don't know. Eddie told me they were talking business," Alona said in a firm voice. But on the inside, she was afraid what this situation could mean for Eddie. She knew him only a few weeks and they never really talked, but the guy seemed nice and wasn't an asshole like everyone in this damn business. She saw Jeff killing people for less than just making a deal with someone he didn't like. 

"Business," Jeff repeated. "Well, I assume that we'll have to talk with Eddie about that. If the guy who is banging my baby brother is buying drugs, I want to know about it," Jeff said and turned in his chair to the window. "Tom, talk with this Eddie guy. I want to know exactly what he sold to our friend. Oh, and send Mandy over here." This was Jeff's way how to say  _Get the fuck out already_. 

Alona was still shocked about Jeff's words about his baby brother and Jensen, but Tom surprisingly gently led her out. "See? I told you it'll be quick," Tom smiled at her.

"Yeah," Alona smiled shakily, trying to not think about how fucked things up were for Eddie. Jeff wanted Tom to  _talk_ to him. That couldn't be anything good. 

She had to warn him.

 

* * *

 

Looking at that enormous building, Jared felt almost sick.

After his little breakdown - yeah, another one - yesterday, Jensen decided Jared needed to get out of the house, to fight his fears and see there is nothing to be scared of. So, there they were, outside the For the Better Days building, waiting for Jensen's friend to come for them.

Jared was shaking a little but tried his best to stop it. He wanted to go there, he had to remain himself. He wanted to learn more about the associations, about the omega rights and what he could do in the future.

But it was just freaking scary.

Jensen seemed to notice his distress, so he took his hand and squeezed it hard. "It's okay," he said again. "I'm here. I'll be with you the whole time," Jensen smiled at him warmly. 

"Thank you," Jared said, it sounded almost like a whisper. Then, before he could lose his courage, he asked: "Why are you doing this?"

Jensen seemed caught off guard. "Doing what?" he asked confusedly.

Before Jared could explain, a tall, handsome young man waved in their direction. "Jensen!" he yelled and hurried to them. "Hey!" He turned to Jared. "You must be Jared!" he smiled and beamed and Jared couldn't understand what was so awesome about him being Jared, but the man looked pretty excited.

"I'm Matthew, but you can call me Matt," Matt offered and shook Jared's trembling hand. "N-nice to meet you," Jared stuttered. Then he realized something. Jensen said this was his friend's omega. But this man looked strong and independent. Maybe, Jared'd be able to do that too someday.

"Shall we?" Matt asked and pointed to the building. 

"Yeah," Jared breathed out and stepped into an unknown world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do, the chapter was more focused on other characters, I hope you don't mind. What do you think?
> 
> Comments are a motivation to write faster ;)


	6. About Wifes and Aliases

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Finally an update. The chapter is pretty long, though, so I hope you'll forgive me :D Writer's block, what can I say. Anyway, thanks for all kudos and comments! You're making me so happy! Hope you'll like it :)

When they entered, Jared looked perplexed at first, then surprised and interested with a hint of fear in his eyes. He was staring wide-eyed at the enormous foyer and a lot of omegas that were in there. Jared probably never saw so many omegas in one place. When looking at him, Jensen noticed the way Jared beamed up by seeing and smelling so many omegas - no alphas, no betas. Jared felt safe. Jensen smiled softly, happy for Jared.

"So, Jared," Matt started, "this is a big place. Too many departments and all. Man, I can't believe how big this grew up. When I started working for FBD, we had just one office." Matt seemed lost in thought for a sec. Then he shook his head.  "Anyway, I guess you don't want to see the boring paperwork, right?"

Jared shooked his head. "I... Well..." Jared stuttered, unsure how to express himself.

But Matt, fortunately, seemed like he knew exactly what Jared had on mind. "I'll show you everything about our work then, okay? The history of omega rights is long, but not at all boring," Matt smiled and Jared couldn't help but smile back.  

They walked through the foyer, Jared looking curiously around, but avoiding any eye contact someone tried to attempt. Jensen could only hope that one day, Jared'll understand that he is equal with everyone; that he is not less worth. 

Matt lead them to the  _Staff Only_ door, but before they could enter, a young man approached them.

 "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you need to wait here," he told Jensen.

Jensen shot the interrupter a glare. "And why's that?" he asked in too much polite voice. Inside, he was growling. Nobody'll separate him from Jared. 

"You can't go there since you're an alpha. Only omegas are allowed," the guy folded his arms. "C'mon, Justin," hurried Matt to say when he saw Jensen's expression. "Jensen is a friend of mine. He is harmless; he is just with Jared here," Matt pointed at Jared, who looked like he wanted to disappear into thin air.

"Hi," he gave Justin a little smile. Justin frowned and eyed him. "He is your alpha?" he asked Jared and pointed at Jensen. Jared turned red. "W-well... you know, we're not mates... I mean, we live together, but... uh... I guess he is," Jared stuttered, then turned even redder. Jensen had to suppress a smile.

Justin rolled his eyes. "You don't know how to speak or what?" he asked Jared and Jensen immediately hated that guy. "Anyway, you," he pointed at Jensen again, "you're not going in there. That ain't happening. And you," he pointed at Matt, "should stop trying to sneak alphas in. Or I'll refer it to your supervisor," Justin said, trying to sound serious and important and after one last sharp glare, he was gone.

"Dude," Jensen said after a moment of silence," what the fuck was that?"

"That was Justin," Matt sighed. "He takes his job way too seriously and has this thing about hating alphas. I dunno, but I heard something about some asshole alpha dumping him at their anniversary."

"Still, he is a dick," Jensen frowned and glared daggers at Justin who was trying to so-not-obviously watch them - probably to see what Matt'll do so he could go and report it to Matt's supervisor. That was so lame. 

When Jensen turned back to Matt and Jared, Jared was staring at him. He didn't want to leave Jared, but that fucker would give Matt problems and Jensen didn't want that. So, he forced an encouraging smile and said enthusiastically: "So, I guess I'm gonna just sit somewhere and wait for you. It'll be alright, Jared. I promise. Matt'll be with you the whole time, okay?" Jared swallowed hard and nodded, not looking at Jensen.

Matt held doors for him and Jared was almost there when he turned around, ran to Jensen and hugged him tightly. Then he made his way back to Matt and ran through the door like he was on fire. Matt winked at Jensen and closed the door. 

Jensen was staring at the door with a stupid grin on his face for like a few minutes. Then he left, but the idiotic grin stayed on his face.

Jensen wandered for a while through the foyer, not sure what to do. He didn't know how long it'll take Matt to show Jared around, but he could stick there for a few hours. He had to suppress a growl as he passed by Justin. That fucker just narrowed his eyes on him, but Jensen to his surprise found out he wasn't the only one - other omegas were glaring daggers at him. Not much of them though, but still. It was a shame that all alphas were seen as assholes, at least by some omegas. 

Finally, Jensen found a few chairs in a far corner, with a small coffee table with a bunch of magazines on it. Jensen saw new  _Horse & Hound_ and had to laugh. When few people looked at him like why-the-fuck-are-you-laughing-there-is-nothing-funny, Jensen just sat down and started to randomly flip through the magazines. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Jensen heard and looked up, only to see Mr. Walking Stereotype right in front of him. 

"I think I'm reading a magazine here. What are you doin'?" said Jensen and went back to reading some shitty article about veggies. He could just feel the anger that was radiating from Justin as he hissed: "You can't be here."

"And why the fuck is that?" asked Jensen, not looking up at him. 

"You're an  _alpha_ in an association for  _omega_ rights. Even someone who is thinking troughs his dick like you have to see there is something wrong about it." Justin greeted his teeth. "You're making some people uncomfortable."

"I think you're the only one around here who is uncomfortable, so why don't you go cry to your mamma and we'll chat later, okay?" Jensen always liked pissing people off and an asshole like Justin? God that was fun.

When he looked at Mr. Uncomfortable, he could tell that in cartoon film, his head would explode. "Oh, you're a little red," Jensen pointed out. Justin started to stutter something, but Jensen didn't let him finish.

"Oh, you're not gonna refer me to your supervisor, are you? 'Cause that would be lame, man. Let me tell you something - take it as friendly advice. If you don't know shit about people, then mind your own fucking business and deal with your personal issues at home, okay? 'Cause man, no one gives a shit. If your boyfriend dumped you, don't be pissed at everyone else and think about that maybe, just maybe, he split up with you because you're... you're not exactly a joy to be around. So now, go home and go cry to your cat, or whatever you have at home."

Justin just stared at him, quite uncertain what to do. But Jensen wasn't done yet.

"Do you have a cat?" he asked casually like they were friends chatting in a bar. "I don't think so. You don't look the type to have cats. Do you live alone? No, hang on - you have a plant, right? And you named it Ricardo. Or Bob? No, I get it - it's Anlegg. It means plant in Norwegian. But you know that, right? Since you named it?" 

Jensen smiled at Justin and went back to the article he forgot what was about. That was for splitting him and Jared. Break nose would be better, but that was not quite possible right now and this was way funnier. 

When Justin looked he was just going to punch something - probably Jensen - someone approached them. 

"I'm sorry, is something going on here?" asked a woman voice. Jensen looked up and jumped from his chair. A pretty woman in black dress and high-heels were standing in front of them and looked a hell lot of familiar. 

"No, there is absolutely nothing going on here," Jensen said quickly before Justin could say something, "Danneel," he added and when Danneel looked at him, she looked as surprised as he felt.

"Jensen!" Danneel smiled and hurried to hug him. She had a surprisingly strong hold. After she took a few steps back, a wide grin on her face, Danneel asked: "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since college!"

Before Jensen could answer, a loud cough could be heard. They both snapped their heads in Justin's direction.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Hartley?" asked Danneel in such a polite and professional voice it surprised Jensen. Where was that party girl that was with him half-naked in the middle of the night trying to steal a butterfly collection from biology section? 

"Nothing at all," Justin answered unwillingly, then gave Jensen one last look and was gone. 

"God, that guy is a fuckin' prick," Jensen sighed.

Danneel just rolled her eyes. "So, wanna chat somewhere in privacy? It's not like I have much work to do."

Danneel started walking towards the elevator, so Jensen followed her. "What do you mean, not much work?" he asked. "What are you doing anyway?"

"I'm running the marketing department, but the boss only wanted a pretty face to represent FBD in public. That's pretty much all I do - meetings, interviews, charity auctions... The boss wants to look like he cares about people." 

"But isn't it what FBD does? You know, care about people?" Jensen shook his head and corrected himself. "I mean, about omegas?" There was a  _clink_ and the elevator doors opened. They stepped in and Danneel pressed the button with 6.

"Yeah, well we do, it's only that the boss cares more about reputation and money donations that helping omegas who are abused," Danneel sighed. "The boss is quite new - the lady that ran it before him? Man, she had balls. Mrs. Huffman would die for the organization. Now that's a fervor! But she had a car accident and lose her ability to walk. So this Speight dick got the job. But hey, the positive is I have my work and they pay _really_ good," Danneel smirked, left the elevator and walked through a few hallways before opening one door.

"But, stop talking about me," Danneel sit down behind the table and pointed at another chair. "Have a seat, please." Jensen sat down, but something seemed off about Danneel - but maybe he was just imagining it. Hell, he hadn't seen her since college. People can change.

"So, what are you doing here?" Danneel asked again. 

"I'm actually here with my... uh..." What was Jared for him? "... boyfriend." Yeah. That could work. "He is... well, he has some serious shit behind, so I wanted him to... y'know, so he could see there are other ways to live, even for an omega."

Danneel looked sympathetically. "Which kind of serious shit?" she asked after a while. "Drug shit? But you don't have to tell me. That's totally fine," she added quickly when she saw Jensen's expression.

"What? No!" How could she think something like that? "No, his... his family was giving him pretty hard times, for being omega. Totally medieval! and his... his brother - gosh, he is the biggest asshole I ever met, I swear to God." 

Danneel just nodded. They were chatting for a next half an hour, not bringing Jared up again. Jensen found out Danneel was married to a dude named Jeff - God, even just that name made him pissed. 

After a while, there was a knock at the door and when Danneel called out: "Come in!", to Jensen surprise, Matt entered, with Jared right behind him.

"Uh, good morning Mrs. -" Then his eyed widened as he saw Jensen. "Jensen! What are you doing here?" 

"Oh, that's a long story. By the way, Justin has a plant named Anlegg at home," Jensen said casually as he got up and made his way to Jared, who was still standing in the hallway, looking all nervous and shy. He heard Matt say: "Well, good for him," and then he started to explain to Danneel he is showing Jared around and stuff. 

"Hey baby," Jensen smiled a little, the pet name was just automatic, but Jared didn't seem to mind.

"Hi," Jared gave up a tiny smile. "This place is huge," Jared seemed excited. "I'd totally get lost in here!" Jensen just grinned wider. Then he squeezed his hand, which made Jared blush. 

"Well, since you're here, Jared this is my friend Danneel, Danneel, this is-" Jensen said more loudly as he entered Danneel's office still holding hands with Jared, but before he could finish the sentence, Danneel gasped.

"Jared?" she jumped out of her chair and hurried to them. At the other side, Jared took a step back. "Danneel?" His voice wavered. Jensen frowned and looked form one at the other. How could they know each other?

"Hey, how does it goes you guys know each other?" asked Jensen what he was thinking. He looked at Jared and was perplexed to see a hint of fear in his face.

"T-this is my brother's wife, Jensen," Jared whispered. Jensen snapped his head at Danneel and couldn't believe it. His friend that married that fucker.

"Holy fuck."

 

* * *

 

 

Tracking down Chad wasn't much hard. 

Chris had Chad's file in front of him within half an hour. Chad Micheal Murray, born in Buffalo, NYC... blah blah blah... his parents were both dead... blah blah blah... there it was! According to the file, Chad should be working in a tattoo studio called  _Thorned Heart_. Chris googled it and shit, it was pretty nasty and in that kind of bad neighborhood when everywhere are whores and drug dealers and dead bodies. He looked at that preppy-looking kid and couldn't imagine him all covered in tattoos. And more important, the guy was still in his senior year! What was a kid like him doing in a shitty place like that?

The next day, when he made sure no one was following him, he left the bar a.k.a. drug nest and went to the tattoo studio.

When he entered, he immediately smelled weed in the air. The place was dark and small, the wall was covered in pictures of tattoos and sketches. "Hello?" Chris called out, quite not sure what to expect.

"Yeah?" he heard behind him so he turned around and saw a smaller guy, blondie, with a ring in his eyebrow and a tattooed inscription at his forehead that read: This is art.

"Can I help you pell?" Chad Michael Murray said as he lifted his eyebrow at Chris. Chris looked around, wanted to make sure really no one was nearby. He might need to show his FBI badge and if somebody would see it and report it to Welling, he'd be fucked. 

"Maybe we can talk somewhere in private?" Chris asked instead, which mad Chad frown and take a step back.

"Hey, I'm not for sale! If you wanna fuck someone, go down the street to Juan and ask for Svetlana - she is good." With that Chad turned around, ready to sneak out to the other room he came from. Chris hold him back. 

"Fuck man, I don't want to sleep with you!" Chris frowned. This kid was only a  _kid_. Jesus.

"So what the hell you want then?" asked Chad suspiciously. But before Chris could answer, someone entered the studio and to his horror, it was Alona. 

She frowned when she saw them standing too close together, but whatever. That wasn't her business. She just wanted to war Eddie about Tom and Jeff, but when he sneaked out and was trying so hard not to be obvious and checking that nobody is following him, it got her interest. But why to do all this super-secret-spy crap just to get into a shitty tattoo studio?

"Hey, Eddie," Alona greeted, still eyeing him and the other guy. "It's cold outside, isn't it?"

"Alona," Chris breathed out. He was fucked. He needed to think up something. Fast. "It really is. My ass nearly froze on my way here."

"Speaking of which..." Alona made a few steps towards him and Chad, "What brings you here?"

Chris looked around. It would be stupid to say  _oh, I just wanted to get AIDS and this place looks good for it_ or that he wanted a tattoo or some shit, Alona would ask why he went all the way here when there was tattoo studio right across the street from the bar. 

So Chris, well-trained FBI undercover agent, stepped closer to Chad, hugged him around his waist and said the first thing that came to his mind: "I just came to see my boyfriend."

Alona's eyebrows shot up, as well as Chad's, but before he could let him down, Chris took out his gun and pressed it against Chad's back. That was a pretty obvious message he thought, so he just hoped Chad'll be quiet. 

"Your boyfriend?" asked Alona in disbelief. Chad was totally frozen, so Chris hurried to say: "Yeah. Y'know, he is pretty shy, right honey? And not out, so he doesn't want to be seen in public. It sucks, I know, but the blowjobs he gives," Chris smiled and Chad started chocking. 

"Okay..." Alona said slowly, then gave them her best smile. "Well, I wish you luck. And Eddie, when you'll be heading back to... work, call me, okay? I have something important to tell ya." And with that, she was gone.

Chirs immediately stepped away from Chad, sticking his gun behind his belt. Chad just stared at him with wide eyes, red in the face and took a step back. "What," he managed to say. "The fuck. Was.  That."

"I really think we should talk somewhere else," Chris said calmly, but his heart was beating. God, how could he be so careless? And making up a boyfriend? After years of training? That's all he got?

"And I really think you should -" Chad started, trying to sound calm and firm but his voice was trembling, but then some redhead girl peeked out from the room Chris thought might be some kind office or something and looked at Chad. She had a rose with thorns tattooed all the way from her neck to her wrist.

"Everything okay, Mickey?" she asked and Chris looked around to see who the fuck she meant, but then Chad said: "Yeah, everything is cool, Gemma," and the redhead disappeared back to the office with murmuring. Mickey? Apparently, he wasn't the only one with the fake alias in the room.

Chris looked at Chad. He was surprised that he didn't say Chris was threatening him or something. Chad eyed him carefully, then sighed and said: "We could talk in the stock if you want. But I swear to God, if you'll shoot me, I'll kill you."

Chris just blinked and followed Chad to the stock, which was even smaller and darker. It was full of boxes and Chad sat at one, looking up at Chris. "So, you wanna tell me why the hell made me your boyfriend?" he asked. Fair question.

It was practically impossible for some Welling's guy to see him right now, so he took his badge out and showed it to Chad. "Special agent Kane, FBI," he said pretty unnecessarily because Chad could see that. He put the badge back inside the inner pocket of his jacket. "I'm investigating a drug dealer now if you wanna know. That girl, uh, Alona, is the dealer's girlfriend and was obviously following me. I needed some alibi. So, that's why."

Chad looked at him wide-eyed. "Are you gonna arrest me?" he asked and Chris nearly choked. 

"What? No. Why would I do that?"

Chad waved his hand in the direction of the door. "This place literally reeks of weed and illegal activity," he shrugged. "So I guessed..." 

"Okay, but I'm not here to arrest you. Actually, I'm looking for one guy. Chad Michael Murray. Do you know him? He is supposed to be working here."

Chad visibly paled. "No, I never heard of him. But there is a lot of people - one day they're here and the next day they're not." 

"Well, that's interesting," Chris smirked as he took a photo out of his pocket and showed it to Chad. "Because he looks exactly like you, Mickey." 

Chad just stared at his photo from FBI database, then slowly looked up at Chris. "I'm not that guy anymore," he said way more quietly. There was something in his voice that made Chris sit down beside him and don't anything else for a while. There was something so raw and deep in his eyes that he had to wonder what happened to Chad Murray. 

"So," he asked after a while of silence. "Why Mickey? Like Mickey Mouse?"

"No," Chad said and looked away, blushing a little. "Like... like Mickey Milkovich."

Chris didn't know who the fuck was Mickey Milkovich, but he just nodded. "I'm Chris by the way. Or Eddie - and not like Eddie Murphy, but my uncle Eddie. He was a tough guy. Died in Afghanistan. That's why I joined FBI." He didn't know why the fuck he was telling this stranger about his uncle Eddie, but it felt just... comfortable.

After another moment of silence, he took out another photo - the one Jensen gave him. "So, Mickey, do you know this guy?" He watched as Chad opened his mouth and touched the photo slightly.

"Where did you get this?" Chad asked, voice wavering. 

"From a friend. I don't know what happened to you, some shit obviously, but I need you to be Chad for a while, Mickey." Chad just kept looking at that picture.

"Jared needs you to be," Chris added and Chad nearly jumped.

"He disappeared," Chad whispered after a while. 

Chris for once didn't know what to say. "We were in our freshman year," Chad said quietly. "And then just... puff, he was gone. I went to his parents, but they didn't say me anything. At the end, I started to think he died." Chad shook his head. "I know it's stupid, but he was the only friend I had. When everyone was bullying me, Jared was there for me. And after he disappeared, everything fucked up."

"It's not stupid," Chris said softly. The way Chad was looking at the photo of him and his best friend happy, it had something heartbreaking in it. Chris could only wonder what happened to him - but if it was as horrible as what happened to Jared, then...

"You know where he is?" Chad asked after a while. 

"Yep. And I think he needs you." Chad looked surprised. "Well, you're not the only one who has been through some serious shit. And don't get me wrong, but I think you need him too."

Chris grabbed his jacket and stood up, then looked at Chad. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the Horse & Hound inside joke - it's just something me and my friends have. 
> 
> Okay, and now the important thing - what do you think? :)


	7. About a Boy Who Lost Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It had been a while, I know... Well, I'm trying :D I hope you'll like this part, it's all from Chad's POV, so enjoy :3 Comments and kudos are loved!

"Wait," said Chad when the FBI agent stopped his car in front of big, fancy house in an unfamiliar neighborhood. "This is not Jared's house."

"Yeah, I know," Chris rolled his eyes as he got out of the truck. "This is Jensen's house. C'mon, get out."

Once Chad was out, he looked around - it was really nice neighborhood; that kind of neighborhood where you want to raise your children. Most of the houses looked like Jensen's, whoever Jensen was. 

"Who's Jensen?" asked Chad and followed Chris to the doorway.

Chris didn't answer, just muttered: "Looks like nobody is home," and took out a key from under the doormat. Chris unlocked the door and stepped in, waving his hand. "Welcome in... my friend's house," he grinned and walked in. Chad looked around and then slowly followed Chris, letting the door shut behind him.

"I thought you said we're going to see Jared." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Chris looked at Chad over his shoulder. 

"Well yeah, he lives here. So, wanna something to eat, Mickey?" Chris opened the fridge. "I know Jensen wouldn't mind."

Chad flinched when he heard Chris calling him Mickey. He knew his real name and still was using the alias Chad made for himself. Did he feel... maybe a little grateful? Chad shook his head. 

"So what?" Chirs called, bent over looking into the fridge. And Chad was _so_ not checking his ass right then.

"I think... Some chips will be fine. I had breakfast," Chad shrugged. He was used to not having three meals a day. Chris turned around and looked at him with a frown. 

"Breakfast? It's four in the afternoon! All right young man, sit down, now, and I'll get you somethin'," Chris pointed at a chair by the table and went back to exploring the fridge.

Chad thought normally he'd say 'You sound like my mom' but considering he didn't have one, no longer, he didn't say anything and just sat down. He won't think about his mom now. Or about his dad. Just no. He was gonna see Jared! That was positive - a huge positive - so he had to stay positive, too. 

He still couldn't believe he'll see Jared. He wouldn't believe Chris for even a second, but once he took out that picture of him and Jared... Chad just knew he was telling the truth. And he was so thrilled to see Jared but had this uneasy feeling in his gut form what Chris said about Jared.  _You're not the only one who has been through some serious shit._ What was that supposed to mean? He was so eager to find out why Jared disappeared back then. 

After Chris made him a sandwich, he looked at his cell and frowned when he saw what time it was. "I should go back... You know, Eddie has to meet Alona and report the deals he made today to Welling..."

Chad found it weird, Chris talking about his alias like that like it was some total stranger - but it was him. Chad wasn't saying _Mickey is hungry_ either. But then he realized - Chris wasn't Eddie, he didn't choose to be him. It was just a cover to take down the drug dealer. On the other hand, Chad chose to be Mickey, wanted Chad Murray to disappear and be just Mickey Novak, just a guy that was working in a tattoo studio and nothing else, not a kid with a violent history.

"Right," Chad nodded and kept chewing his sandwich. It was actually pretty good. And he really was hungry. "Eddie needs to do what Eddie needs to do. But what I am supposed to do when this Jensen shows up and finds some dude eating a sandwich in his kitchen?"

"Say hello," Chris grinned, grabbed his keys and was gone. 

"Great" Chad murmured. He ate the sandwich and looked around. It was so unfair, leave him like this. After Chris used him as his boyfriend! At least he could stay and explain all of that to this Jared's... what? Guardian? Boyfriend? 

When Chad started wandering through the house, he finally heard the front doors open. He was just in the living room and froze, with absolutely no idea how to prove he wasn't a thief. 

"Stupid Chris," he heard someone grumbling - it had to be Jensen. "He can't just use the emergency key and walk in here! Chris! You bastard! Get your ass here!" 

"Maybe it was an emergency," other voice said and it hit Chad like a punch. It was way more quiet, unsure and wavering than he remembered, but it was Jared's voice. He was sure. 

"Yeah right." Chad could tell Jensen rolled his eyes. Then there was a moment of silence, they were probably dressing off their jackets or coats. "Hey," Chad heard Jensen saying softly, "you okay?"

"Yeah... No... I mean..." Jared stuttered out. Chad frowned. Where was his always happy and talkative friend? "I wasn't expecting to see Danneel, that's all. I don't really know her that much. Jeff didn't want me to meet her. But fuck, that he told her I went to boarding school..." 

"Shh, it's okay," Chad heard and then came some strange noises, which Chad to his horror identified as kissing. 

And then they walked in the living room hand in hand, to find Chad standing there with his mouth open before he could think something up.

"What the... ?" Jensen immediately took a step back, blinking a few times to make sure that this... person was really in his house. Chad blinked a few times too because he was looking at his high school crush, Jensen Ackles. But that couldn't be true.

Jared looked even more confused. Chad thought with a melancholy that Jared could not recognize him. After all, he made pretty sure he wasn't looking like the kid he used to be. But by the expression on Jared's face, Chad was obviously familiar to him.

"That's Chris?" Jared asked after a while, he didn't ask Chad but Jensen, looking at him like he was his savior. That look caught Chad off guard - it was so full of emotions. 

"No," Jensen managed to say. "I don't... What... How you got inside?!" Now, when Jensen overcame the confusion and shock, he was clearly angry. Before Chad could even try to explain, Jensen took out his phone. "Enough, I'm calling the cops."

"No! Wait, Chris let me in," Chad hurried to say, suddenly terrified. He didn't have exactly good experiences with cops. "He... Uh, the key was under the doormat. He said... he said you wanted to meet me! Uh, that you wanted him to track me down. I'm... I'm Chad," Chad breathed out and saw as Jensen's expression went from shock to understanding. "Yeah and uh... he wanted me to say hello," Chad added. 

At the other hand, Jared went pale and looked around. "What...?" he whispered, then shook his head. "I need to sit down."

Jensen led him to the couch and the kindness surprised Chad. Jared sit down and just stared at him, probably trying to match the kid he used to know, his best friend, with this guy covered in tattoos, with a ring in his eyebrow and piercing in the tongue. 

"Wait," he said after a while. "You wanted Chris to track him down?" he looked at Jensen. Chad had to suppress a smile. That was the Jared he knew, always focusing on the facts. But that was the only thing that seemed familiar about Jared - he was way taller than he used to be, his hair was longer, but at the other hand, he was more skinny, had dark circles under his eyes, and this sad, defeated look in his eyes that was making Chad wanting to protect him. 

"I... Uh..." Jensen looked kinda guilty like he did something behind Jared's back and looked at Chad for support. Chad wanted to say something to Jensen's defense, but then he stopped. He just wasn't that Chad anymore. Mickey was way more mischievous and sometimes an asshole than Chad.

So Chad sit down, made himself comfortable. "Okay, so who the fuck are you?" Chad asked Jensen looked at him from his eyelashes with a smirk on his face - like  _you wanted me, fine, here I am, deal with me_.

Jensen's look was saying:  _you bet I'll_.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're... different," Jared said when the silence was unbearable. They were in Jared's room, Jensen gave them some privacy, but Chad could clearly picture him listening outside. 

Chad looked at Jared from his spot beside the window - Jared had a view at one little park across the street; some kids were having a snowball fight over there. Chad was envying them. They had nothing to worry about. 

"How different?" asked Chad and lifted his eyebrow - the one without the ring. 

"Do I really need to explain?" Jared lifted an eyebrow too and wave his hand in Chad's direction. 

Chad sighed. "Yeah, I know, I'm tattoed -"

"No, that's not what I mean," Jared interrupted him. While looking at him, Chad realized Jared acted way older than his age. He was eighteen and was more mature than some guys in their thirties. Something horrible must have happened to Jared, to make him grown up too fast and deal with the shit of the real world. 

"You look different, but you... It's just you always had this light in you, this thing that made you do pranks with me and climbs on trees and steals Mrs. Larsson's underwear - and now it's gone." Jared looked up at him. "It's in your eyes. You're defeated. Exhausted. Just want everything to end already."

Chad blinked a few times, speechless. He looked at his former best friend. "How do you know?" he breathed out.

Jared had to repress the urge to look back. "Because I feel the same way."

And then Jared told him everything. Why his parents took him from school, lock him down in his room and forbade him to see anyone. About the years of loneliness and humiliation, about Jeff - oh, how Chad hated that guy - simply about everything. Chad watched how his face lit up a little when he started about Jensen. 

When he ended, Chad just didn't have words. For once he threw Mickey away and hurried to Jared, hugging him, squeezing him tightly, hanging on him like a life-line. 

"I don't want to put pressure on you..." Jared mumbled when they pulled apart. "But if you wanna talk about it, any of it..."

Chad looked away for a long moment, then his voice came nearly as a whisper: "My parents are dead."

It dropped like a bomb into the silent room. Chad felt like breathing easily after he finally told someone; it was chocking him ever since it happened and he never said a word to anyone. But to whom it would be better to tell than Jared? 

And Jared acted just like Chad thought and hoped - stayed still, no 'I'm so sorry', no nothing, just watched him carefully, waiting if Chad would say anything else. 

And Chad did, after another while. "It was a car accident. My brother was in the car too." Chad swallowed hard, he felt like he couldn't breathe. "It was a few months later after you disappeared. And..." 

Chad felt horrible to say it out loud, but it was true and Jared was just honest with him, so Chad owed him the same. "The drunk asshole, who smashed them... killed them died too. And sometimes I wish he hadn't. Sometimes I wish... I was the one who could kill him." 

Chad waited for Jared's horror, but he just squeezed his shoulder tight. Chad hadn't any urge to cry in more than a year, but now, he had. 

"I went to this foster parents," he laughed, short and it sounded almost fanatic. "Parents, that's right. Lisa and Greg, that was them. Greg was a drunk piece of shit and Lisa was buried that deep in her cocaine she didn't even know who I was two weeks after I moved with them." 

A few deep breaths, squeezing the parapet. Chad had to calm down. His knuckles were white. His breathing was getting short and fast. 

"When I turned sixteen, I ran away when Greg was after me with a baseball bat. He accused me of stealing their money. It wasn't true, Lisa just bought more drugs. But I swore to never step in there again. I had nowhere to go and then I met.... him. Mike."

Lightheadedness. Dizziness. "He was my first love. Man, he was like thirteen years older than me. He told me beautiful things and I went whit him. I thought he wanted to take me in, live with me. I don't know why I thought it, but he was my hero. Prince charming. It turned out he was a pimp and thought I'd be good for business. But... I still had no home and I said to myself better than nothing. Well, that was before someone first paid for me."

Chad knew he sighs of a panic attack and he was definitely getting into one.

Jared finally spoke: "Chad, it's okay, you don't need to tell me all of this now-"

"No," Chad hissed through greeted teeth. "I... I have to."

"T-then..." His voice was just a little shaky. "I spent a whole day crying my eyes out. Then, when Mike and some other guys went out, I ran away. Again. I spent a couple of months on the streets. Everyone was looking at me like I was a trash. Then, one day this tattooed redhead came to me and said: "You look like you could use a job. C'mon." It was Gemma. She led me to this tattoo studio and pleaded until her boss - my boss now - gave me a job. I spent most of the nights in the storeroom, but I had a job, I had a roof over my head. It was everything I could ever want. When I made enough money, I moved in with Gemma and few other people from the store and started paying a part of the rent."

Chad was practically panting at the end. "And that's where I am now. And I'm lucky, I know it. I'm goddamn lucky Gemma thought I was cute and pitiable and offered me that job. But if you'd ask me if I'm happy, I wouldn't know how to answer."

Jared didn't say anything, he didn't need to. He just hugged him like Chad did before, trying to make him forget all that happened. 

After a while, he pulled away and rested his chin on Chad's shoulder. At least this thing about Jared didn't change - he was still annoyingly adorably clingy. 

"We're pretty messed up, huh?" Jared asked, but Chad figured it was a rhetorical question.

"I guess. But you know, being normal is overrated nowadays anyway," Chad said and Jared giggled and Chad hoped, at least for a brief moment, that his life was gonna be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what do you think? :3


	8. About a Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Uh, long time nothing from me. M'sorry, I've been dealing with some personal shit recently, but it's gonna be good from now on, or I hope so. Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter!

"All right, you're not staying there."

Jensen's voice cut through the silence in the room. The sun was already going to go down, the light, soft and gold, poured through the window into the room. Jared really had to appreciate how gorgeous Jensen, who was leaning against a wall across the couch Jared was sitting on, looked in this light. It emphasized his cheekbones and his lashes were throwing dark shadows on his cheeks. 

Jared looked up at Jensen with surprise. He wasn't entirely sure what Jensen was saying, though he was sure he was addressing Chad; Jensen was looking directly at him, making Chad uncomfortable. Chad swallowed and looked around if Jensen was really talking to him.

"Where?" Chad asked.

Jared still couldn't believe it was  _Chad_ sitting there on the sofa. He was taller than he remembered, with tattoos and piercings and looked like somebody completely different, but still, it was Chad. Chad, who Jared thought he'd never see again. Yet, there he was. And all thanks to Jensen. Jared already owed him so much, and he had no idea how could he ever repay it.

"In the place you live," Jensen frowned. "We can't let you live like that." Jared really liked how Jensen used the word  _we_.

"What?" Chad obviously wasn't following.

"You can move with us, to the guest room before you'll be able to get your own place," Jensen suggested.

"I can't possibly ask you to -" Chad uttered out after a while, a disbelief in his eyes. "I mean, it's your house and  -"

"Nonsense," Jensen waved his hand. Jared really shouldn't think about the way his muscles moved, but yet he was. Every time he looked at Jensen he had to stop for a second and thought just how beautiful Jensen was, on the outside and the inside, too. He just offered Chad a roof over his head, just because he heard in what he had to live. Okay, and maybe because of Jared, or at least he wanted to think so.

"It won't be temporary, just until you'll be able to stand on your own feets," Jensen continued, smiling a little. "I'm sure your... roommates wouldn't mind." 

Chad frowned. "They're -" He paused, not sure what to say. He wasn't sure how to explain what they were to him, meant to him. If it wasn't for them - especially Gemma - he would be living in the streets, maybe hookering, selling his body to strangers; or maybe even dead, who knows. Gemma saved his life and he grew used to her, and to the other people in the house; to their ways of making money and their dry sense of humor. He would feel like shit for leaving them for living in a finer neighboorhood with... well, one former best friend and a total stranger. 

"I-it-" Chad dropped his face into his hands and groaned. "I can't accept this."

"Of course you can," Jared grinned and patted Chad's shoulder. "Just think about it as a long-term sleepover. Just like when we were kids. It'll be awesome! We can watch horrors and eat popcorn and do a pillow war -" Jared stopped and looked at Jensen with puppy eyes. "Can we?" 

"Sure," Jensen laughed and walked towards them. "Jay, I told you, you can do whatever you want."

"I keep forgetting," Jared murmured. Chad looked up at him with a frown. He knew what his parents, his own blood did to him, and it sure did something to Jared. Maybe even shattered with his meaning and knowledge about this world. But now it seemed to Chad like Jared was depending on Jensen too much. Just since he was here Jared asked for Jensen's permission about every little thing like opening a window or making a coffee. That sure couldn't be healthy either.

"I-" Chad stuttered out, "I need to think about this." Jensen and Jared were looking at him like he _should_ say yes, and he didn't like the idea of being forced to do something. He got to his feets and quickly left the living room as well as Jensen's house, ignoring Jared calling at him. 

 

* * *

 

Alona sure wanted to talk to Eddie, but this wasn't like she pictured it.

She was in the middle of a shift in the bar, serving beer, drinks, and peanuts and doing her best to ignore the looks the customers were giving her when Eddie practically ran to her and grabbed her by her forearm. 

"Hey, Alona," he breathed out. She just frowned, looking around. If Tom would see Eddie touching her in any way he'd consider inappropriate, Eddie'd end with a bullet in his head. Tom was very possessive of the things that he owned, and Alona was one of them. 

"Eddie, I like you a lot, but if you don't let go of my arm right now, Tom will cut off yours," Alona warned him in a calm voice. Eddie made a nervous laugh and yanked his hand away, looking at her face trying to find some hint of humor. When he didn't find any, he gulped.

"You're serious," Eddie stated. "Wow. Your boyfriend is really possessive, huh?"

Alona raised her eyebrow.  _Well, duh. Obviously_ , she said silently to him. He hated when people call Tom her boyfriend; well, technically he was, but Alona didn't choose to be his girlfriend. Tom wasn't exactly a bad-looking guy, but the fact that he threatened to kill her and was working for a drug dealer was making it harder to love him. 

Eddie nodded. "Alright. Hey, I need to talk to you just for a sec."  _I was trying to do that for the whole day_ , Alona thought and rolled her eyes. Moreover, he promised to call her when he would be heading back from the little visit he paid to his  _boyfriend_. Honestly, Alona didn't see that one coming, but as long as she was concerned, Eddie could bang who he wanted.

"All right, just gimme a sec. I need to carry this," she lifted her other hand with the two beers she was holding, "over there. Wait here for me?"

Eddie nodded and Alona made her way quickly to the table. "Here is your beer," she smiled at the two men who were sitting there. Both were kinda old, kinda sweaty and kinda disgusting - so looked like most of their customers. 

"Thanks, babe," one of them said with a cocky smile. Alona eyed his up and down. Uh, pretty disgusting. 

"You're welcome," she smiled even wider. "Just put your cock back in pants, wouldja? I have a boyfriend." With that, she turned around and walked back to Eddie. She could feel their eyes on her, but it wasn't anything new to her; guys she wouldn't even look at trying to hit on her. The only word she had for it was pathetic.

"I can take a few minutes off," Alona said to Eddie when she reached him and headed towards the door that led to the backyard. Sometimes Tom was dealing there, if not in the back alley, but it was just something around two in the afternoon, so no one was there. Alona pushed the doors open and held it for Eddie, which made Eddie smirk.

"Such a gentleman, Alona," he grinned and sneaked beside her outside. 

Alona rolled her eyes and folded her hands. It was freezing out there, even their breath was visible. "So what you wanted? Make it quick," she added; she wouldn't want to see Tom's reacting to her and Eddie all alone there by themselves.

"Just..." Eddie shoved his hand into his pocket and took out a cell phone, looking brand new. "I just thought you could hand this over to someone?"

Alona looked suspiciously at him, narrowing her eyes as she tilted her head slightly. "To who?" she asked; as much as she tried, she couldn't find any reason Eddie would want her to do this. 

"Eh..." Eddie nervously scratched the back of his neck. "Remember Mickey? You know, my, uh, my boyfriend?" Eddie uttered, cheeks slightly red but that could be out of the cold. 

"Yeah, I remember him," Alona smiled. "Cute guy. Maybe too many tattoos though. Why can't you just give it to him?" There was something off. Why wouldn't Eddie just go and give it to his boyfriend?

Eddie let of a frustrated sigh. "Look, the situation with Mickey is complicated... Just, he ran off from... one of my friend's place and they - I mean, I'm really worried about him, and I know he wouldn't speak to me right now, but you think you can give him this so he would... would have a way to contact?" 

Alona slowly blinked. Eddie seemed so concerned, so worried, that it made Alona just reach out her hand and ask with a small smile: "He'll be at the tattoo shop?" She didn't ask any questions, like why the fuck Mickey didn't have a cell phone of his own. 

Eddie looked like he wanted to hug her, but that would probably get him headless, so he just smiled warmly at her and handed her the phone over. "Thanks, Alona. You're really a friend."

"Speaking of which..." Alona trailed off and took a deep breath. How to say to someone  _this_ in order that it wouldn't sound like threatening? "I mean, I'm your friend, so that's why I'm telling you this."

Eddie's face shot off. He knew this kind of sentences and they never ended well. "What?" he asked, frowning.

"I... I listened to some talk between Tom and... his boss and they seem very interested in one of your customers. I, I think it was something like Jen... Jensen? Something starting at A -"

"Ackles," Eddie said with a deep frown, his whole face went a little pale. "But... why? What Jensen did them?"

This part was going to be a real bitch to say, Alona thought. "Uh, the boss said that Jensen was... was banging his baby brother and in that case, he wanted to know about his buying drugs," Alona blurted out, her face red. "And then it turned kind of bad for you, I guess you should lay down for a while."

But Eddie, it seemed, wasn't even listening to her in the end, eyes wide staring into nowhere. "Did he actually said Jensen was banging his baby brother?" he asked after a long moment of silence.

Alona nodded. "But really, Eddie, I've seen Tom killing - " Alona tried to talk some sense in him, but Eddie just shook his head. "Did he really said that? You're not kidding me, right?"

"No, he actually said that! But I don't get why is that so important," Alona huffed and folded her arms. She risked a lot by warning Eddie and now this.

"Holy shit," Eddie breathed out. "I-I need to go. Right now. I'll catch up with you later!"

And Alona was suddenly standing there alone in the snow, clutching a brand new cell phone.

 

* * *

 

"Oh, look who is finally home!" Gemma called out when Chad entered the house. He swallowed hard and let her hug him. 

Chad forced himself to smile at her, knowing it wouldn't help to be rude to her. His hand was still gripping the cell phone in his pocket. He still thought it was some kind of a weird dream; a girl, the friend of Eddie, just walked to him in the front of the store and gave him a new phone, then simply left without a word.

"Hey, Mickey Mouse. Where have you been?" Gemma asked when she pulled away. Chad had to smile; he really liked her a lot. Not just because she practically saved his ass, but she was a funny girl and made the best scrambled eggs. 

"I... went to see a friend," Chad shrugged casually. Gemma eyed him up and down. 

"A friend?" she asked a little suspiciously.

"Yeah, y'know, friend, as someone who you like spending time with, and-"

"Stop making fun of me, Mickey," she smacked him teasingly and led him to the living room. He looked around and try to figure out how to say he was moving out. 

"Hey, Pretty face!" Hunter yelled from where he was sitting, a beer bottle in his hand. Chad rolled his eyes; from the first time Hunter saw him, he was calling him Pretty face. Even tried a few times to make a move on him. Chad just ignored it.

"Hey, Hunter. Isn't it too early to drink?" he smirked. It was about noon maybe and Hunter's bottle was half-empty.

"It's never too early!" he proclaimed and took another sip. Chad had to smile, even when Hunter could be a son of a bitch and was constantly hitting on him, he kinda liked him. He kinda liked everyone in the house, they were nice to him when he first showed up. They were like this little family. 

Chad shook his head. He should be moving out. He should be moving on with his life, maybe finally being happy and all, getting a normal job and not living with ten people in one house. But somehow he couldn't force himself to tell them about the offer he got.

"Mickey!" he heard and turned around, to see Shane standing there. He frowned. "Where have you been? You son of a bitch, we had to do it without you!" 

"Do what without me?" Chad asked, grinning and leaning against a wall. 

"Beat the fucker who called Lindsay slut, remember? The one who came to the store and wanted to fuck her, asshole," Shane growled.

"And? You got him?" Chad grinned. Suddenly he was very well aware how much his and Jared's world was different. In his world, they were beating guys, stealing cars and drinking. In Jared's world, they were helping omega rights, gardening and... just were boring. 

"Yeah, he won't be able to walk for a while," Shane laughed and then squeaked when someone hugged him from behind. 

"Where you went, baby?" asked the interrupter, Nathan and grinned at Chad. Chad looked around, from Gemma to Hunter, Shane, and Nathan, and then his eyes wandered to the stairs, knowing that upstairs was Lindsay and realized he didn't want to move out. 

His phone suddenly rang, the sound high and clear in the room. Everyone looked as Chad took his cell out of his pocket - Chris was calling him. Already did sex times; Chad never answered.

"Holy fuck, where did you steal it?" asked Gemma with wide eyes. 

"I- I didn't steal it," Chad uttered out, then forced himself to breathe deeply as he headed outside of the room, picking up the phone.

"You fucking little bastard!" Chris yelled instead of greeting. "Why the fuck you think I gave you this phone?! To ignore it?" Oh, so Chris sent the girl. That made suddenly so more sense.

"I know -" 

"I fucking don't give a shit of what you know! You know how the fuck Jared is worried about you? He is seriously freaking out and so is Jensen, so how about you get your ass over here, I get way more serious shit to deal with."

Chad's heart clenched; he didn't think Jared would be so much worried about him. So he swallowed whatever he wanted to say about not wanting to change his life so much and simply said: "I'll be there."

 


	9. About Power and Sanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! An update, hurrah :D I'm bringing a little bit of Danneel's POV, hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you for all the comments and kudos and as always, both is hugely admired!

Danneel huffed as she closed the main door behind her, bags with groceries hanging in her hands. Another stressful day in work; but now, even with a bonus of visit of her newly found brother-in-law.

"Jeff?" she called out as she padded over to the kitchen. Danneel put the bags on the kitchen counter, sighing as she eyed the dirty plates and glasses in the sink. She pleaded Jeff to wash them or at least give them into the dishwasher. 

As Danneel opened the bags and started to stock the groceries in their places, she thought about what happened today and how she was going to bring it up with Jeff. Seeing Jared in her office was surprising at least. She hasn't seen him since he was fourteen or so; Jeff told her he attempted boarding school and Danneel didn't question it. Why should Jeff lie about something like this?

But suddenly, Jared appeared in her office, the last place she would expect him to pop in. Jared, who was obviously scared out of his mind - of  _her_ , for God's sake - and also, very obviously an omega.

Now she didn't that one coming.

Danneel finished putting away the groceries and made her way to the living room, to see Jeff sitting there on the couch, beer in one hand and TV remote in the other. She wasn't surprised that he didn't answer when she called for him; he never did. He expected for Danneel to come to him.

And she always did.

"Hey, babe," Jeff gave her a quick glance before turning back to his game. "Just don't forget that Tom and Alona are coming over tonight, so make sure to cook that chicken that Tom liked last time. Oh, and wear something hot, I want Tom jealous."

Danneel sighed but tried to hide it with a cough. No  _How was your day dear? You look so stressed, somethin' wrong? Haven't you met my brother today by chance?_

"Sure," Danneel gave him a small smile and kissed him on his cheek. Jeff looked like he wanted to wipe his cheek, but resisted. Danneel was glad for that. Sometimes he looked clearly disgusted and annoyed when she kissed him like that, especially in the public. But Danneel was the only one who'd notice that; she was the only one who could see the slight change in his expression, his eyes. Danneel knew him better than anyone else. 

"Uh, I wanted to talk to you about something -" she started nervously, playing with the hem of her skirt anxiously. She still had no idea how to bring up Jared. 

"Not the right time, Dani. _Duh_ , the game," Jeff pointed out the obvious, frowning like he couldn't understand how Danneel could be so stupid to disturb him in the middle of his game. 

"I know, honey, but this is really important -" Danneel wasn't going to drop this, she wanted some answers and she was going to get them. Jeff certainly wouldn't miss anything important if he would listen to her for just a few minutes anyway. 

"Danneel, I'm sure it can wait until after the game," Jeff cut her off angrily, the message in his voice clear.  _Drop it._

Danneel took a deep breath. "It'll take just a minute -"

Jeff reached out his hand and slapped Danneel over her cheek. She backed away, touching her reddening cheek gently, trying so hard not to let a single tear slide her cheek; it wasn't like she wasn't used to this. And she never cried in front of Jeff. Danneel didn't want him to feel guilty. Maybe he wasn't aware of what he was doing and seeing Danneel cry would surely break him.

"I said," Jeff hissed, "it can wait. Go cook the chicken. Now."

Dannel rosed up and left the room, quickly and silently, risking a quick glance over her shoulder. Jeff was watching his game, taking a sip of his beer. He didn't spare her a second glance. Danneel sighed and her shoulders tensed as another weight landed on them. Danneel wasn't sure just how much she can bear.

"Yes, dear," Danneel whispered as she disappeared into the kitchen. Taking a huge gaspy breaths, she made her wobbling way to the kitchen counter, then placed her hands on it, nails digging into the material. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't cry...

One tear slid her cheek followed by another one and another one. Before it could become real waterworks, Danneel quickly wiped her cheeks, angry at herself. She shook her head and headed to the fridge, opening the freezer and looking for the chicken. She should start immediately if she wanted to have it done before Tom and Alona will come. 

Then she stopped, realizing Jeff didn't tell her when they were coming over. Her eyes fixed on the door, hearing the quiet sounds of the TV. In the end, she didn't dare to ask Jeff; instead, she chose to not ask and just hoped to have it on time. 

 

* * *

 

"What if he gets hit by a car?" Jared's worried voice was loud in the room, too loud if you ask Jared. He felt like everything was too loud, too bright and too blurry at the same time. Jared was worried he was starting to go crazy.

But what he was worried more about was Chad, who disappeared into the scary outside world all alone.

"Jared, Chad is a big boy. He lived out there for a couple of years; I'm sure he can handle his own business and don't get hit by a car," Jensen soothed him, not showing any annoyance on Jared's childish behavior. Jared, of course, knew Chad could survive out there, it was more like the sudden loss he felt; he just reunited with his best friend, got some part of his old life back and now, all of sudden, Chad was gone again.

"What if he gets jumped?"

"Chad would kick their asses."

"But what if he involves in some shit; you heard him, where he is living, some drug dealer could just shoot him."

"Jared, I'm sure there is no chance Chad will get shot by a drug dealer. You need to relax a bit, baby," Jensen said as he leaned closer, pulling Jared into a hug, slowly stroking his back. Jared leaned in the touch, loving the sensation of Jensen's arms around him, protecting him.

"Look, Chris'll find him, 'kay?" Jensen was mumbling. "Nothing bad is gonna happen. The outside world isn't just full of bad things." Jared doubted that but kept his mouth shut. 

"Okay," Jared just murmured back, leaning into the touch some more. "Thanks."

"No need for thanking, Jay," Jensen smiled softly, the smile bringing wrinkles to the corners of his eyes. "M'glad I can be here for you."

Jared's heart started pounding a little faster at that remark, heat creeping up his cheeks. He still didn't know where he and Jensen were; friends? Boyfriends? Jared never felt so confused, like Jensen was sending all these mixed signals, one time kissing him, then not touching him for a week. And then the whole 'I love you' thing. Was he serious? Jared just still couldn't get what Jensen saw in him.

"I'm glad you're here," Jared whispered and closed his eyes, sighing. Suddenly, he was very well aware how his troubles with going out was a problem. If they were really gonna do it, finally admit it and start a real relationship, how they could even go on a date? Jared was sure that the first alpha would lay his eyes on him, he'd freak out. Why Jensen should put up with all this when he could have a normal relationship with someone who didn't have messed up brain.

Jared tensed at that thought, Jensen finding someone else. It was like something squeezed tightly around his torso, making it hard to breathe. This uneasy feeling settled in his guts and Jared hated it.

Jensen frowned when he felt Jared tense against him, Jared's hand clutching tightly around him. Jensen wasn't sure if Jared was even aware of it, though. Jensen rested his chin on top of Jared's head and hugged him tighter, trying to comfort him. Jared felt so vulnerable in his arms, even despite the fact Jared was taller than him.

"Jen?" Jared heard himself whispering, not planning to say it until it was out of his mouth.

"Yeah?" Jensen asked, rubbing circles on Jared's back.

"Will you leave me?" Jared asked what he was most scared of. He wasn't quite sure how he meant it; of course, Jensen couldn't promise to be with him for the rest of his life. But Jared just needed some assurance to keep himself together.

Jensen went sill, not getting why Jared would even ask something like that. Of course, he'd never leave him! God, he loved him so much that his heart felt like it couldn't handle any more love. Like it would stop beating if something happened to Jared. 

Jared felt the change in Jensen's hold around him and took it as an answer. As a yes. Jared was so stupid; why would Jensen put up with his complexes and fears? Jared loosened his grip on Jensen, not even aware he was gripping him so tightly before. But before he could pull away completely, Jensen's eyes widened and he quickly snapped his hand to clutch Jared's.

"Oh my God, Jay, 'course I'd never leave you! Gosh, I thought you knew that!" Jensen pulled him close again, brushing Jared hair from his face. Jared ducked his head, not wanting Jensen to see his almost watery eyes. 

"I love you," Jensen whispered and Jared's eyes widened slightly and despite the fact he already heard Jensen saying it, it made his heart beat faster and fire pump through his veins. Jared barely heard anything except the blood rushing in his ears, leaning into Jensen and completely melting into him. The worries he had about Chad had been pushed aside as the only thing he could think of was Jensen.

Jared wasn't sure, but he thought love was supposed to feel like this.

Jared took a shaky breath and whispered so quietly he thought Jensen didn't hear him, "I-I love you too." 

Jensen froze and slowly looked down at Jared in his arms. He wasn't quite sure he heard right but hoped so badly he did. Jensen's heart was beating rapidly and he was pretty sure Jared could hear it. He slowly reached out one hand and placed it under Jared's chin pushing up oh so slightly, wanting Jared to look at him. 

Jared slowly looked up after a few reluctant seconds, meeting the bottle-green of Jensen's eyes. Jared felt like he could stare into those eyes for eternity, and he would be perfectly okay with it. Jared saw all the freckles on Jensen's face, which only made him more beautiful. He never thought he would use the word  _beautiful_ when describing an alpha; hot, maybe handsome. But Jensen was just simply beautiful, as well on the inside, and Jared couldn't believe his luck.

Jensen leaned closer, so close he could feel the heat of Jared's lips. His breaths were mixing and becoming one and Jensen just couldn't resist anymore; he pressed his lips softly against Jared's, pressing just slightly. Jared melted into the touch of their lips, his lips parting unawares. Jensen felt shiver sent down his spine, heat settling in his belly. 

Jared was on fire, as he slid his arms around Jensen's body then back up, his finger finally tangling in Jensen's hair. So  _soft_. Jared always wanted to try that. 

Jensen kept remaining himself to go  _slow_ , _just for the love of God don't screw this up_ , but it was so hard to not do anything with his hands, to not roughen the kiss just a little. Jensen finally settled for his hands around Jared's waist, then leaning closer and licking Jared's bottom lip, slightly biting it.

Jared never felt anything like this before and he tightened his grip on Jensen's hair, moaning softly into his mouth. Jensen moaned in the response, thumbs rubbing over Jared's hipbones.

And then they heard a cough.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Jensen and Jare both froze; Jared was the first to backward, blushing furiously. Jensen felt himself blushing too, as he turned his head slowly to look at Chad who was leaning against the doorframe, grinning like an idiot.

"Oh, don't mind me. Feel free to continue, imma just go get a beer," Chad smirked and headed to the kitchen, but Jared stopped him by standing up and practically running to him. Jared hugged him, squeezing him tightly, maybe a little too tightly, as far as Jensen could say by Chad's expression. Chad patted Jared uncertainly at his back.

Jensen frowned at the sight; something in him was pissed at Chad for making Jared sick with worries.

Suddenly, Jared's mood changed in the blink of an eye and he pulled away, his brows furrowed. "You idiot!" he almost yelled at Chad, his whole body trembling.

"Ouch," Chad almost yelped, mostly out of surprise. He stepped back and rubbed his arm, but still grinning. "Whoa, Jay-bird, didn't know you had it in you."

Jared turned even redder after that; nut in a cute way, but out of anger. "Do never," he hissed at Chad, "ever do that again." With that, he turned around and stormed out of the room, leaving a surprise silence after him. Jensen immediately had a bad feeling in his gut.

"Did I do something wrong?" Chad asked, obviously surprised.

Jensen shot him a glance and rolled his eyes at the kid. "Well,  _duh_. He was sick with worries."

Understatement finally filled Chad's eyes, just to be replaced by a confusion. "Isn't he kinda overreacting?" he asked carefully. "I mean, why should he even worry about me?"

Jensen rubbed the root of his nose, trying to give the kid a fair explanation and not yelling at him as he wanted to. "Look, man, I know he told you stuff, but you just can't understand, okay? His family just... messed him up. He is scared of... well, the outside world in general. He thought you'll get killed for sure. It's not normally like this, I think it kinda upset him like you popped up and then disappeared again. He... We're working on it."

Chad's face was full of various emotions like he couldn't choose how to feel. "Shit, man, I-"

The sound of Jensen's cell phone ringing cut Chad off. Jensen shot him an apologetical glare before rushing to pick the phone up, seeing the caller's ID.

"Chris?" he asked a little breathless after he answered the phone. "Look, Chad's here-"

"Jensen," Chris interrupted him and something in his voice made Jensen tremble. He just knew anything Chirs was going to say couldn't be any good news.

"What?" Jensen asked, voice wavering just a little. "What is it, Chris?"

The was a long moment of silence. "I can't tell you," Chris finally said. "Not right now. Not until I know everyone is safe."

"What are you talking about? Jesus, Chris, _what_ is it? Something with the dealer or something? Are you in trouble?"

"Jen, I can't tell you. It's not safe. I'm heading to meet my boss right now. We'll figure it out."

"Chris, you're really starting to freak me out, dude."

"Just try to lay down for a little bit, 'kay? Take a few days off at work, keep Chad with you. If anything happens, there will be an agent sent to you." Chris sighed. "Gotta go, Jensen."

"Christian Kane, don't you dare to-"

Chris hang up.

 

* * *

 

For fuck's sake, what the fuck was Chris supposed to do? He debated with himself for a long time whether to tell or not to tell Jensen. Eventually, he decided that it wasn't safe for Jensen to know and if Jared would find out, he was sure... well, he wasn't sure what would happen, but he knew it would be bad. Jared would be scared to death every minute of his life, waiting for Jeff to come to get him.

So this was the best option. He called his boss, Jim Beaver, and was meeting him in a bit in. They would put up a plan to take down Jeff, now when Chris knew it wasn't Welling who was running the whole thing - it was Jared's brother.

Talk about mind-blow.

As soon as Chris parked the car, he knew something was wrong. It was this feeling that he developed over the years - it was something that came hand with his style of life. He grabbed his gun, the cold metal underneath his palm soothing him. At least something familiar.

He stepped out of the car quickly, moving fast to the cafe where he was supposed to meet Jim. It was already at least seven, the sky dark and the street even darker, just one street lamp in his sight. 

Before he could make it to the cafe, someone grabbed him from behind and dragged him to a dark alley.

"Boss says hello," he heard Welling laughing before everything turned dark.

**Author's Note:**

> So, tell me what you think?


End file.
